What closed it in the first place? It was open 500 years ago...

I was going to call stupidity on this, but then I realized they meant the axial poles. The magnetic poles have been shifting (they travel a lot, and sometimes reverse; there's been dramatic movement in the recent decade), and this can alter magma flows and screw with global weather patterns. Axial poles shift due to mass movement, which may occur from magnetic poles moving hot metal around, but also other reasons as cited.

People are obsessed with CO2, they don't want the evidence in front of their eyes.

Let's assume--I'm not placing this as fact, just an assumption--but let's assume that global temperatures are rising. People are standing around denying this because the oceans sink CO2 and algae consumes it. CO2 has been this high or higher in the past, but there's all kinds of jockeying to mess with the graphs--stuff like throwing out high-quality ice core data for low-quality tree ring data and correlating growth with available material (carbon), which is much less accurate (sunlight, water, temperature, etc, all affect tree growth; and they only grow in the summer!). With the facts staring them in the face, they continue to bicker because the cause is, apparently, imaginary and political.

Now within our assumption that global warming is real, we've established that people are talking about CO2 = Global Warming. No CO2, no global warming, no matter what your thermometer says. Problem?

The city I'm in is extremely hot today. I wonder why. There's 600 degree exhaust air being pumped out of an oil fire near me.. with 50F weather outside, being 12 feet away from an ambulance is like sitting in front of a roaring furnace. There's hundreds of cars on the road pumping out heat. We've painted the roads black, we've cut down trees that bind sunlight (heat) into stored energy, we've started to collect solar energy and bleed it as heat, we've been burning a ton of wood and coal and oil and belching hot gas into the atmosphere.

The world is covered in one giant fucking heating network. Cooling systems move heat, rather than storing it out of the environment. Could that be it?

The earth's magnetic poles are shifting around, magma flows are changing. We have accepted scientifically that this happens and this causes drastic climate changes; yet as weather patterns shift, we blame the global temperature and claim it rearranges things. Crazy, right?

Stupid CO2 fetishists. The reason people don't believe we've ever had CO2 this high is because they don't want to. It used to be common theory, until someone decided it wasn't good for politics. Remember: We need something we can cite as a cause for a problem so we can look like we're fixing the problem.

I'd wager the situation wouldn't improve much if we switched to 100% solar energy. Air quality would be better.

481 PPM. I've seen as low as around 364ppm, and I've seen claims of 1200-2000ppm around 1200AD; but I'm pretty sure 1000+ in modern age (i.e. not dinosaur age) is ludicrous.

The problem is you have to plant plants outside, and they can't move, and they're exposed to wind for pollination purposes. Pollination is effective: it allows genetic material to spread quite widely without actually going out and fucking something. Those haploid cells can go pretty far.

What about women's rea?

They still make Agent Orange, and it's still primarily used as herbicide in modern farming. The original toxic compound was a mistake caused by poor controls in manufacturing of a component of Agent Orange.

He should counter-sue that their seeds polluted his crop. Write his farm up as "organic" or "non-GMO".

Theory. Singular. There is one conspiracy run from a group of powerful individuals dating back to Ancient Egypt.

This is a good thing. The farmer should buy real soy bean seeds and plant those. They're whining because they can't soak your soy beans in a constant stream of Monsanto pesticides.

The normal pesticide is actually Agent Orange, but manufactured correctly. It's a blend of Round-Up and something else (2-D-4-methylsomething or some such); Agent Orange was this blend, but we've been assured that it was so toxic because the manufacturing process produces certain other toxic chemicals that must be controlled, and the control was botched in that particular instance. That's been fixed.

Rather than tilling the land and weeding properly, farmers will buy Monsanto stuff that kills their crops, mixed with other stuff that kills grass but NOT their crops, and cover their crops in it. They'll get Monsanto seeds that won't be killed by the pesticides, and thus not have to worry about it killing their crops. "Organic" doesn't mean much, but organic farming and non-GMO crops can't be flooded with these particular herbicidal chemicals. They can still use Pyrithren pesticides, but not with PBO and certainly not Permethrin.

Global warming is an arab plot. All those sand-bound camel-jockeys live in the desert where it's 150 degrees and they don't have AC. When the earth melts off the face of the planet, they'll inherit what's left easily. Europeans are so soft and gushy.

CO2 levels were up to 400ppm about 800 years ago. They've since dropped, but are now up again. Not exactly thousands of years.

Politicians only work for PR and will only take steps to address PR. If the release of gaseous nitric acid was slowly killing us but everyone was screaming about CO2, the politicians would take steps to deal with harmless CO2. Useless steps like shifting production from one fossil fuel to a different fossil fuel, claiming it's "greener" and "cheaper", and then taking credit for the expanded economy that results from cheap energy availability and greater output of CO2 and toxic gasses by way of burning more shit to produce more energy. It's an art form, making things worse while getting praise for making them better.

You can buy a DVR device. Every DVR is not Tivo. Stupid slashdotters with their "what the hell is MythTV or XBMC?" But now you can't HDMI in on those, so you need to spend $300 one time on a hardware device that prohibits copying out.

It's kind of like doing research into the energy generation potential of pederasty via thermal generation from friction.