You beat me to this post.
A lot of the people who started using Ubuntu over the years are the people who saw Compiz and just had to install it. They're the kind of people who think Compiz, Ubuntu, and Linux are the same thing.
To them, learning how to make Ubuntu look like Windows 7/OSX/whatever is totally a big deal and requires an article on Slashdot.
These people make me sick.
Everyone I know has gone through about 10 phones, either through losing them, breaking them, or upgrading (which happens least).
I have had the same Nokia 6030, that I got for free when I started my plan, for five years now.
I would say that I also have a pretty active lifestyle that would be dangerous to a phone. I've dropped it hundreds of times, drunk-dialed/texted for years, and actually pissed on my phone by accident, and it doesn't even look two years old.
I envy you. I've had to do installs for people who literally told me, "I don't know what Linux is I just know that I want it." and thought that "going into the code" meant editing a configuration file in their home directory.
I'll let you assume what distro I installed for them.