"In other news 40 million terrorists were bombed in downtown Washington DC today....."

Yea that's it, piss off the whole world. That would be fucking hilarious.

Yea, I had a Plymouth Breeze with a funky cruise control that would randomly decide you weren't going fast enough. All the sudden the car would start to accelerate all by itself, and you couldn't turn off cruise. The breaks would still stop the car.

I'm pretty sure the same thing that keeps that from working is the same thing that keeps us from getting cooked by the sun.

Wow, that's some wickedly distorted views on life.

Depends on who sees you do it.

If you land right, you won't feel a thing.

So basically to jump from the ISS, you need a rocket to shoot you the opposite direction as your orbit to at least slow you past the OMGIGD speed.

HHARP is real, but it's not a weapon. http://www.haarp.alaska.edu/haarp/faq.html

It wasn't hard, the damn thing had WPS enabled.

How does walking fight breast cancer? I've never understood this.

I would hope not. The dude died over 2000 years ago!

How's this for mixed messages??? http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/36/a1f63cbcac884f23ee9182d5ec1198f8/l.jpg

I don't drink, at all. Why the fuck do I need a breathalyzer in my car?

I have a great uncle that did that up in Michigan. This was back in the 70's though. Got a bit tipsy, so he drove himself home, in the break down lane. State trooper stopped him and asked him if he was drunk. "Hell yea I'm drunk, why do you think I'd doing 5mph in the break down lane!"