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Comment: opportunity is knocking (Score 2) 497

In my greenhouse (for medical marijuana) the CO2 is increased to 3000PPM. The plants love it and produce some of the most potent bud I've ever smoked.

Point is -- we need more medical marijuana and industrial hemp to suck up the extra CO2 from the atmosphere. Hemp and algae are the best ways to remove CO2 from the air. And unless you know of someway to get high off algae, I say let's go with reefer.

Comment: Re:I use it for linux distributions (Score -1, Troll) 302

by asshole felcher (#43541449) Attached to: Ask Slashdot: Do You Move Legal Data With Torrents?

I've been into dogs since I was 9 Years old, it started with masturbating My Sisters' German shepherd, I found it really excited Me, and the dog enjoyed it as well, I had frequent contact with him, as well as other dogs belonging to her neighbors and friends. From then on, I was hooked, tho I didn't know anyone who did this and thought I was the only one!! I also picked up strays and had sex with them, mostly masturbating them, but around the age of 16 I found one in an abandoned building, he got so excited he tried to mount me, I took him in my mouth and he quickly came, it made me very hot and I liked the taste.,After that I really got into this, and My dog sex activities continued as did My once a Week visits with a gay friend, I had gay tendencies but not really into guys, but dogs excited Me no end. I took a job at an animal shelter, and later at a boarding/breeding kennel and had sex with as many dogs as I could

All told, I've had sex with almost 100 dogs, about 5 were bitches, I had intercourse with 3 and the others I frigged, I had one that loved to be frigged, she would hump and cum 10 times or more each session, We did that every day for 6 Years, after she was satisfied she'd lick and nibble my scrotum and then switch to the head as I was about to cum, if I was slow She'd switch to licking my face, sometimes we frenched. At the age of 27 I proudly gave My virginity to My beautiful willing 6 Year old Bernese Mtn dog (Lace), I was devastated when just 3 Months later she was diagnosed with cancer and died during surgery, only a pet owner or another Zoophile can understand the devastation and loss of ones animal partner, I mourned for Months and still can't go into that clinic, such is the pain of being a Zoophile.

Comment: Re:What in the world is "mouth/stomach separation" (Score 2, Informative) 300

by asshole felcher (#43385265) Attached to: Extended TeX: Past, Present, and Future

It's sort of like C where you have a preprocessor ("mouth") which does macro expansion and text replacement and then the actual compiler ("stomach").

Quoting this paper:

The usable programming language has to consist of both parts [mouth and stomach] because the assignment capabilities of the stomach are needed in order to define macro definitions and to read or write text, i.e., to produce an output. The mouth is necessary for all tasks that needs an iterative application or a recombination of input tokens. TEXâ(TM)s stomach uses the macro processor for almost all commands to scan the command arguments. Additionally, while scanning the arguments of many stomach commands, such as \write, \edef, count or dimension register assignments, all tokens are expanded. Thus stomach operations are not allowed in these places, leading to the problem of fragile commands in moving arguments. This is partly taken care of with LATEXâ(TM)s \protect.

Comment: no air freight? (Score 1) 57

by asshole felcher (#43384511) Attached to: GameStick Kickstarter Consoles Delayed To June

That explanation makes no sense whatsoever. The total cost goes up, sure, but does the per unit cost go up? They're paid per unit. More units means more revenue. More units should also give a better economy of scale. Sounds like their cost estimates were way off and they're trying to reduce expenses wherever they can.

So why are they lying about it? What else are they lying about?

Comment: Re:Google should have bought Sun (Score 0) 207

by asshole felcher (#43326843) Attached to: Oracle Clings To Java API Copyrights

Google hasn't figured out how to profit off Motorola yet. The IP lawsuits are ineffective and the phone business is still reporting quarterly losses. Maybe they need to fire some more people?

Google's ad business brings in piles of cash and subsidizes everything else. Sun used to be profitable, too. Profitable enough to subsidize all kinds of things that didn't generate any income.

Comment: Re:So now the US is forcing foreign online purchas (Score 1) 297

by asshole felcher (#43258533) Attached to: US Senate Passes National Internet Sales Tax Mandate
Swing and a miss. Amazon has agreed to collect sales tax in an increasing number of states (like California ... did you read the article?). Amazon actually supports the national sales tax -- it's easier than trying to deal with 50 states targeting them (and only them, leaving competitors untaxed).

Comment: Re:Forced convergence is all the rage. (Score -1, Offtopic) 107

Here are the facts: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's 2011 National Health Statistics study showed that among adults aged 25-44, about 98 percent of women and 97 percent of men have had vaginal intercourse, 89 percent of women and 90 percent of men have had oral sex, and 36 percent of women and 44 percent of men have had anal sex. That means one out of every three gals and almost half of the guys polled say they enjoy playing with their partners' poopers.

I can tell you from first-hand experience that having anal sex is not the same thing as enjoying anal sex. Ask your favorite ex-con for more information.

I can also tell you that those butt-fucking numbers are suspicious. There's a reason the oral/vaginal numbers are basically identical for men and women -- A man can't have sex with a woman unless a woman also has sex with a man. So an 8% difference in male vs female butt fucking means either

1. There's a lot of man-on-man butt sex
-or-
2. There's a lot of men lying

Most research puts homosexual/bi-curious rates at under 5% -- and many "bi-curious" men limit themselves to blowjobs and masturbating (AIDS much?) But if we were to assume the 8% difference is due to man-on-man buttfucking... well, gay men have anal sex. Film at 11. Not exactly a compelling reason for a woman to go down on a straight man's asshole.

Comment: Re:Fun (Score -1, Offtopic) 40

by asshole felcher (#43129495) Attached to: Multimorphic Teases Open Source Multi-Game Pinball
It was back a few years ago, I was cruising upstairs at the 315 over on First, and I came across this hot little blond surfer type. We started getting it on, and our hands both started going for the ass at the same time. He called a halt to go fetch the Crisco and poppers. Now, fisting wasn’t particularly on my mind I figured we’d trade fucks and that would be that. How was I to know that there were gay surfer types at Dice who got into handball?

Well, pretty soon we were busy finger-fucking each other while we sixty-nined. Then he called a halt and sat up and looked at me. “Wanna go further?” he asked. “As in what?” I replied. “Fisting man!” “You or me?” “Whatever,” he muttered. “Well I’ve never had it, but I’m up for trying.” BINGO!! The idea of a virgin ass really turned him on, so pretty soon I was on my back, sitting with my ass propped up on a pillow and him sitting cross-legged below me.

Your head’s gonna get it done for you,” he told me. “You gotta want me inside you. It’s just like taking a big cock. It’ll hurt like hell goin’ over the widest part of my knuckles, but then, once it’s inside, you’re gonna loose your fuckin’ mind!

Well, we smoked a little and I was getting pretty mellowed out and that dude wasn’t trying to hurry me. We talked about all kinds of shit, but all the while there was this insistent pressure at my asshole. “How much you got in?” I’d ask him from time to time, but he’d never tell me. “Don’t worry about it,” he’d say, “just relax and enjoy.”

Well, the whole time he was at it I kept playin’ with my cock, and that made my ass tighten up, so after a while, he pulled the rawhide laces from his boot and tied my hands up behind my head. Now I don’t usually do bondage with a stranger, but we were pretty into each other’s heads by this point, and I figured what the shit, my legs were still free to kick if he got radical.

He kept at this for about an hour, all the while there was a firm pressure at my asshole then he looked up at me and said, “Pull you knees back to your tits.” “Is this it man?” I asked, “I’m not sure I’m ready” “Oh you’re ready man, your ass is just beggin for my hand. Cummon, pull ‘em back.” He got up on his knees and started pushing my legs down with his chest until his face was right over mine. Then he gave me a mean smile and growled, “Take my fucking fist man, you can do it! Cummon!” He shoved the poppers under my nose, and I felt the pressure at my asshole build to an almost unbearable point then my ass caught fire! One firey bolt of pain and he was in! The fucker had his whole damm fist up my butt!

“Slow deep breaths man Take slow deep breaths. Get used to it, then we’ll play.” Now my cock was rock hard by this point, and I could have come if he’d just breathed on me. I didn’t think that it could get any more intense/painful/better, but it did. He shoved the poppers under my nose again, and started to make a fist inside me. Now I could really feel my ass getting stretched. “AARRGGHH ! ! !” I screamed, “take it easy man.” “Just makin’ the fist dude. Now I’m gonna do a little twistin’.” “Oh GOD!” I yelled as I felt the incredible pressure of his fist rolling over inside me. He leaned into it as he began to twist his arm into my ass, and I could feel his fist move a fraction of an inch further in. Then he did a little more twisting, and I did a lot of twisting, and yelling, but he just kept at it, slow and steady, stuffing my ass with his clenched hand.

I drifted into a semi-trance impaled on that hot little dude’s hand. Experienced bottoms say that there’s a good deal of yoga and meditation involved in stretching your ass enough to take a fist, and as he punch fucked my ass I began to understand what they meant.

After another few minutes of this he looked up at me and grinned. “Ready for a little depth?” “You’re running this trip man. You’ve got me tied up and held down so I can’t move anything but my eyelashes. Guess if you wanna go for depth I’m gonna have to go along huh?” “Fuckin’-a-right dude, you just slide on down my arm, we’re gonna go for the elbow!” Now that might sound a bit radical for the first time, but once he’d gotten in past the knuckles it was just a matter of degree. Actually his out-stretched hand was easier to take than his clenched, rotating fist. I laid back and tried to relax even more as he leaned into my ass, and reamed it with his fist.

Slowly, I felt his arm edge deeper and deeper. As his hand passed through the second sphincter it was like the initial entry all over again. After that though, it was twice as wild. His arm got wider and wider and I felt it stretching both rings at once.

“Can you sit up man? I want you to see, you’ve got my fuckin arm up to the elbow!” I didn’t believe him, but he pulled me up till I was bent like a pretzel and I could see my taut, red asshole stretched around the beginning of his bicep. “Oh God,” I moaned, “let me come please. I gotta come so fuckin’ bad!” This turned him on even more, and he began giving me long slow strokes with his arm all the way out to his wrist and then all the way back in to the elbow! “Oh, yea man, shoot your fuckin’ load, Cummon man, shoot it!” Finally he grabbed my cock, and it was all over, my cock exploded. I must have come for five minutes!! “OK, OK, ease out man!, ease out!” Slowly he withdrew his arm, and we both collapsed.

“Like it ?” he grinned. “Like it! Jesus, I loved it! You’ve got great hands man.” “You might be sore for a day or two.” “That’s cool,” I replied. “You wanna do me?” he asked. “Yea, as soon as I catch my breath.” We stretched out together and dozed for a while, then I started to get itchy to get into his ass. It only took about half an hour he was experienced, but I have fairly big hands.

He took my hand easy when I got it in, but he started to get worried when I started sneaking a couple of extra fingers up alongside my hand. “Hey, uh, I don’t think I can take much more” “I grinned and said, “First time for everything dude.” “Yeah, well, I guess, only go easy man, OK?” “No problem, just relax and enjoy.”

Well, it was only about another fifteen minutes and I was shakin’ hands with myself inside this dude’s steaming ass. Now it was his turn to beg. “Oh, Christ! Let me come please! Jack me off man! I gotta come !” Well that presented a problem since both my hands were busy, so I took his aching cock in my mouth. His back snapped into a tight arch, and his asshole clenched tight around my wrists until I thought they were gonna break. He shot so hard I thought I was gonna drown! “JJJJEEEESSSSSUUUUSSS! Take it out Please, take it out!” I slowly pulled one hand and then the other out of his exhausted hole.

We both staggered to the showers, and soaped each other down, then we crashed. We exchanged phone numbers and played a few times after that but eventually I lost track of him. I’ll never, never forget him though.

"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite." -- Bertrand Russell, _Sceptical_Essays_, 1928

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