If you don't do what their religion believes, they feel obligated to kill you. I know a women from Iran who doesn't drink alcohol for religious reasons.
You seem to be stepping on your own argument. First you say that muslims want to kill you if you don't do what their religion believes and in the very next sentence you say that a muslim woman has no problems if people around her don't do what her religion believes. What is it then?
And just to make myself clear: your statement that muslims want to kill you if you don't support their beliefs is absolutely wrong. They will be quite happy to talk to you and debate the reasons for why their religion dictates certain things. And, if they go out of the Gulf area some of them will actually go and have a (alcoholic) drink with you. I've been with more than a single muslim who drank heavy liquor quite liberally but at the same time still held most of his or her other religious beliefs quite dear.
Oh, a peddler in the Bazaar will drop that comment liberally . . . but it is my experience that older folks in the Turkish IT community use it very conservatively.
Ahh... Here is the catch. You're differentiating between one type of Turks and another type of Turks now? You didn't do that before, did you? The thing is, before you were wrong! Not all the Turks are the same. You're quite right that the same thing spoken by one person will ot have the same meaning as when spoken by someone else.
You know why? Because no nation, or religion or any group is ever homogeneous There are always differences. And saying that all muslims are homicidal, violent terorists is as wrong as saying that all european women sunbathe topless.
And as for muslim leaders denouncing terorist attacks: that happens pretty much every time in Europe, after some such outrage happens. Even more, there are joint events where muslim, catholic, jewish and orthodox leaders come together and decry those acts together, while at the same time urge young people of all religions ("christian" youths are also the ones who "convert" to ISIS teachings, by the way) not to fall for the propaganda that brainwashes them from ISIS.
You should really try and check a wider range of news sources. I understand that mainstream media only shows sensationalist type of news and that type is rarely positive. But the fact that you don't see it doesn't mean that it's not there.