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Comment Becoming a Modern Sociopath (Score -1) 36

For most of us, the word sociopath has an old-fashioned reference: a popular, charismatic and good-looking white male wearing a suit. You'd find them in prestigious jobs yielding power and money: M&A analysts, corporate lawyers, project managers. If you've ever watched American Psycho, that's the guy.

These positions still attract many sociopaths, but that's not what's hot in the post-2008 world. Instead, the most ingenious, cynic and malicious of them realized this image was actually undermining their careers. So, they pivoted to a more innovative, popular and disruptive image.

Wanna be like them? Here's what you should do:

1) Replace your suits for hoodies and startup t-shirts.

2) Keep 'working smart' as you always did. You can throw work at developers and tell them say they're disrupting the world. Cheap and obedient workers.

3) Go to some 'disruptive' and 'innovative' hackathons. Free labor for your next startup. Perfect right?

4) Read a book called 'Python/JavaScript for dummies'. Although developers will laugh at you, you'll impress dumb investors with words like Array, Data, Repository and, of course, Disruption.

5) Buy whatever you want, even if extremely expensive. It's all about 'making employees feel cozy', 'impressing customers' and 'awesome SoMa experience'.

6) Don't say you chose a frat buddy over a more qualified applicant. It's all about cultural fit.

7) Publicly give yourself a small salary of $80-150k. Don't worry! You can still use corporate credit cards for 'dinner with clients' or 'night out with PM'.

8) If you can't make a penny, don't worry. Again, use the words 'scaling', 'disruption', 'innovation' and your investors will call you a genius. They'll probably give you more money.

9) Work on PR and Marketing 24/7. Inflate your company like crazy. Shareholders of corporations will see you as competition. You will be acquired. You will make millions/billions.

10) So, your employees got screwed in the acquisition? Whatever, you're not an sociopathic asshole anymore. You have Asperger's Syndrome

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills. -- Ambrose Bierce