ThreeFarthingStone's Journal: The Party of Sinul: A New Parody (Episode 4 * 1st)

THE PARTY OF SINUL
A New Parody Episode 4

Long, long ago in a network far, far, away...

The power of the Flag Empire seemed unstoppable. Their forces crushed the freedoms of countless worlds. The Rebellion was forced into hiding.

The entire remaining force of the Rebellion lay hidden on the remote lunar land of libc-5. Meanwhile, Brathe Fill was pursuing Rebels with the secret weapon in order to find and destroy the Rebels. (Sound familiar?)

The Rebels' morale was low. Sinul was installing on to his spacefighter what may be the Rebellion's last hope, a new Floating-Point Computer...

Commander Romstack had briefed the pilots earlier. "The Empire's Death Oppression Ships, the backbone of their space force, are very effective at fighting and very difficult to destroy. But the DOS does have a few hard to hit weak spots. What we need are precise weapons.

"We have a working prototype Floating-Point Computer. This device will enable your weapons to hit very small targets. The DOS has a very primitive design."

Commander Romstack displayed a three dimensional model of the DOS. "To disable a DOS, you must hit most of these targets. After that it will be much easier to fight and destroy it."

Romstack approached Sinul with a box of hardware. "Sinul, here is the first floating point unit. I want you to test it."

Sinul was now wiring the box into his spacefighter. "Go get an int-to-long adapter," he ordered a nearby robot. The robot fetched the adapter. "Almost done," Sinul muttered.

"Time to turn the ship on," he said at last. "Weapon system check, good. Ready." With that he flew out of base.

Flying above the terrain of libc-5, Sinul wondered, "What do I test this thing on?" There seemed to be nothing on the ground but the occasional critter.

He remembered his hunger. Food rations on libc-5 were low. "Normally we hunt by foot," he recalled, "but now hunting may be the perfect way to test this Floating-Point Computer."

Just then, a rare, native libc-5 Giant Lunar Penguin came into view. "If I miss, it'll flee. Floating-Point Computer ready..." The computer targeted the Penguin.

Sinul fired his blasters. It was a direct hit. The Penguin fell immediately. Sinul landed his ship nearby.

"This thing is huge," he remarked. "It will provide many portions of meat, but how do I get it back to base? It won't fit on my small ship." He came up with an idea. Taking a spare parachute from his ship, he wrapped the Penguin. Leaving it outside, he rebooted his ship. "Now to try the Floating-Point Computer again."

The computer aimed at the top of the bag. "Tractor beam!" commanded Sinul. He pressed a button, and a primitive string-and-hook launched from the ship, latching perfectly on to the bag. Flying the ship, Sinul dragged the Penguin back toward base.

The approaching ship towing a dead Penguin attracted attention at base. Sinul landed to find himself before a crowd. His first words were, "The system works, and look what we have to eat!"

There was a great feast, celebrating the Floating-Point Computer, Sinul, and the Penguin.

==========

About a fifth of the spacefighters now carried Floating-Point Computers. Morale was significantly higher now that hunting was more successful. Sinul was flying for recreation near the base when he saw two strange, small objects flying high in the sky.

Now very skilled with the Computer, he shot one down. But the other quickly flew away. Sinul picked up the light wreck with his tractor beam and flew quickly back to base.

An awful report came from Commander Romstack a few hours later. "With Sinul's help, we have captured this," pointing to the wreck. "It is a probe of the Flag Empire."

The audience was shocked. They had been discovered. The Flag Empire knew now exactly where to send the DOS to destroy the last remnants of the Rebellion. "We have been discovered. Our force is not mobile enough to flee, nor is there any suitable destination close enough.

"But," said Romstack, "now that they know where we are, we can safely send scouting flights. We will send a team to check on the Empire's approaching force. We'll find out how many DOS there are."

"I can lead," said Sinul.

"You will stay here, Sinul. We need you to defend the base."

==========

But when the scout team came back, they were horrified. "It's no DOS," was the report. "The Empire has sent a new weapon. They intend to test their En\Tea on us."

Commander Romstack called the pilots to an emergency meeting. "Our scans have told us this much about the Flag Empire's new Electric-Nuclear Terrifying Explosion Apparatus, or En\Tea. There is a weapon on there powerful enough to destroy this entire moon. One charged shot and all the Rebellion will be destroyed."

The computer model of the En\Tea looked intimidating. The pilots were about to weap. "Pull yourselves together!" Romstack yelled suddenly. "There is hope!

"See this?" said Romstack, pointing to part of the model. "We have already found a security hole. If we can get a large ping packet into there, it will enter the En\Tea and destroy it. Normally we would have almost no chance, but now we have the Floating-Point Computer. A third of our spacefighters have the Computer. They will try to destroy the En\Tea. Meanwhile, the rest of the force can provide protection."

The pilots immediately went to work testing the ping weapons. The most recently reconditioned ping cannons were mounted on the ships with Computers. Soon it was time for the battle. The pilots took off from the base.

Brathe Fill was at window of the En\Tea, which was in orbit around libc. "Soon libc-5 will come into view; the En\Tea better be ready to fire by then!" But instead of the moon, Fill saw spacefighters approaching. "Send our own spacefighters to destroy them!" ordered Fill. "I will lead!"

The En\Tea was several times the size of a DOS, which would be much larger than a spacefighter. Sinul, part of a small formation of spacefighters, flew in parallel to the En\Tea's surface.

Brathe Fill, in his own spacefighter, started picking off Sinul's team. "This is easy!" he gloated. His aiming cursor was then pointed straight at Sinul. "This will finish him. Fire!"

"(A)bort? (R)etry? (F)ail?" prompted the screen. "What, the blaster system crashed?" fumed Fill. He steered his defenseless spacefighter away from the battle.

Meanwhile, Sinul, with theme music rushing through his head, was approaching the hole. "Use the Source!" he suddenly heard in his mind. He turned off the Floating-Point Computer.

Romstack radioed in. "Sinul, this is urgent, is there something wrong, your Floating-Point Computer is disabled!"

"No, I'm fine," Sinul radioed back. He fired. The ping packet approached the hole.

Miss.

Sinul swung the spacefigher away. "Romstack, I'll ready myself for another approach."

"Hurry! libc-5 will be in En\Tea's range soon!"

Sinul saw another Rebel spacefighter explode. He knew he had to hurry, or else there would be too few allies to protect him. Sinul went into another approach.

While evading fire, Sinul heard a sentence in his mind again. "Use the Penguin!" it said. Sinul turned on his Floating-Point Computer. The cursor aimed at the middle of the hole.

He fired.

The ping packet passed through the hole. It was inside the En\Tea. "Quick! Fly away!" Sinul radioed everyone. He turned upward, and distanced himself from the Empire's weapon.

There was a large explosion. The En\Tea was destroyed. For now, the Rebellion was saved.