TechnoLust's Journal: My personal 419 scam story.

When I read forged's journal yesterday, I was reminded of my own joke on a 419 scammer. I had seen Brad's page and was inspired so I did one of my own. I thought I would post it in case anyone cares. ;-) Please note that the phone and fax numbers I provided in my second email are for the Secret Service's Nigerian Fee Scam investigation department. I find that hilarious. :-)

I received a standard form letter 419 scam from a Dr. Walter Obi. I will post my response, then his, then mine, etc.

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Dear Dr. Obi, Your offer is very intriguing, however, I regret to inform you that I received a better offer from some farmers in Zimbabwe. Your 20% of $21 million comes to $4.2 million US. They are offering 25% of $30 million which comes out to $7.5 million US. I am willing to negotiate if you would like, however the Zimbabwean farmers are operating on a strict timetable, so please be quick to respond.

Yours Truly, King Henry VIII

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Dear King Henry VIII

Thank you for your mail may almighty God continue to be with you and your family. I have gone through your mail, the contents are well comprehended, before I proceed, let me go ahead to give you the detailS towards this transaction. What I want from you is your full assistance for us to achieve this goal. My dear,it is only me and two of my co workers in the bank are into this deal and we have every information of the deceased in our reach so with you as a foreigner, we will achieve our target but thereis every need for us to be honest to each other during this period, you should see my knowing you as devine from above because, I decided to contact you hoping that you will not disappoint me at the end of the day. King Henry , we are going to achieve our aim but you have to keep it secret as I will not want anybody here in the bank to know my involvement or that I am your insider here because if the management happens to know, they will see it as betrayal of trust contrary to the oath of appointment and it is a capital purnishment. The only thing you have to do is to follow my instruction and always be in prayer, victory must surely be ours. Please let me know your stand so that I can send the text of application to you, which you will use to apply to the bank as the next of kin to the deceased. If we are lucky to get approvals from the bank, invariably the money belongs to us. I do not have any doubt towards it hence I have every information the bank might require from you as a relation to the deceased and I am here to be feeding you with it gently. Note that there is no time to waste because the managements of the bank has given time for the deceased relations to come for the claim or they will declear the money unclaim and deposit it into Government purse. I must let you know that this transaction is of 100% risk free every loop holes and underground works has been taken care of by me and my partners. We will proceed by sending the application form to you as soon as we confirm your willness to assist, so that you will apply as the deceased next of kin. Send your private telephone and fax numbers for easy comminucations of this transaction in your next mail, and it will enable me fax the application form to you, please let it be your private fax and telephone numbers. I will be waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.

Thanks and God bless. My best regards to you and your family.
DR.WALTER OBI

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Dear Walter,
Why did you pick me for this awesome endeavor? Also, why are you using the French yahoo, when you so obviously speak English? Do you speak French as well? I've always wanted to learn to speak French, maybe you could teach me. I was a little concerned about these dealings at first, but when you told me it was 100% risk free, I just knew I should jump on this opportunity. Those farmers in Zimbabwe will just have to wait. If you want to contact me, please use the following numbers:
Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
If you call, be sure and tell them you are King Henry's relative from Nigeria, as this is who I told my secretary would be calling, so she would not be suspicious of you. Tell them that you are arranging for me to repay a sum of money I had loaned you. If you fax, please be sure to send a cover page, and on the cover page, put the following:
ATTN: King Henry
From: Walter Obi in Nigeria
This will assure that it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.

Thanks,
King Henry

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DEAR KING HENRY, , HOW ARE YOU? I AM VERY HAPPY TO HAVE YOUR LAST EMAIL, WITH THE REQUESTED INFORMATION. I AM PRESENTLY IN NEGOTIATION WITH OUR BANK ACCREDITTED ATTORNEY TO HANDLE THE PAPER WORKS, THOUGH, I HAD TO REVEAL THE DEAL TO HIM BECAUSE OF SOME PAPERS WHICH WE MAY NOT LAY HAND UPON. TO THIS END, HE IS REQUESTING FOR 1% NET WORTH, AFTER SUCCESS, BUT WE WILL IRON OUT THIS DURING OUR BREAKFAST TOMORROW. I WILL HAND OVER YOUR INFORMATION TO HIM AFTER OUR CONCLUSSION, SO THAT HE CAN FURNISH YOU WITH THE TEXT OF APPLICATION. I WILL ALSO, INSTRUCT HIM ACCORDINGLY, INCASE HE WANTS TO SEND YOU FAX. PLEASE ACKNOWLEGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL,SO THAT I CAN KEEP YOU UPDATED TOMORROW. MY REGARDS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. ALL THE BEST, DR.WALTER OBI.

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Dear Obi Wan,
Please send to the Fax, as I won't be able to answer that phone next week. If your attorney wants 1%, you will have to make sure it comes out of your part and not mine. I want my whole 20% of the money. It is OK that you told your attorney, I had to tell my fiancée, Princess Leia. She is very excited about the money, too. I look forward to receiving your fax. May the force be with you,
King Henry Skywalker

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HOW ARE YOU KING HENRY? I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL, AND IT'S COMENT WERE VERY CLEAR. I AM WILLING TO DEDUCT THE ATTORNEY'S PERCENTAGE FROM MY SHARE, THOUGH, WE EVENTUALLY AGREED ON 0.1% NET WORTH. HE HAS STARTED OFF THE PROCESS AS AT YESTERDAY, THEREFORE, IT IS MY WISH TO NOTIFY YOU THAT THERE IS MUCH PROGRESS HERE. HE WILL FAX YOU THE TEXT , TO BE COMPLETED AND RETURN, SO THAT WE CAN MOVE AHEAD TO FINALISE ARRANGEMENT. WHERE WILL YOU BE BY NEXT WEEK? THIS IS BECAUSE YOU MENTIONED IN YOUR EMAIL THAT YOU WOUNT' BE AVAILABLE TO TAKE MY CALL. PLEASE CONCENTRATE AND LET'S FINISH UP THIS LIFE TRANSACTION ONCE AND FOR ALL. HOWEVER, THE LAWYER TOLD ME THAT EVERY PROCESS WILL BE ROUNDED UP BY NEXT WEEK. WISHING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THE BEST OF WEEKENDS! GOD BLESS. DR. WALTER.

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I will be in the office, but someone else will be answering that number. It would appear suspicious if I started answering that number all of a sudden. IN order to maintain the utmost secrecy in this endeavor, please utilize the fax machine for all communication of documents.
Thanks,
King Henry

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DEAR KING HENRY, HOW ARE YOU? I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR LAST EMAIL. FOREMOST, I WISH TO EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE TOWARDS YOUR EFFORT TO REALISE THIS TRANSACTION. I AM SHORT OF WORDS TILL WE MEET FACE TO FACE, FOR SHARING AND OTHER BUSINESS DISCUSSION. THE TEXT/DOCUMENT IS READY, THOUGH, AM AFRAID TO FAX IT, FOR SAFETY REASONS. CAN I FOWARD IT TO YOUR EMAIL BY ATTACHMENT? PLEASE GET BACK TO ME SHORTLY, SO THAT WE CAN ACHIEVE SOMETHING BEFORE THE END OF THE WEEK. LOOKING FOWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR MAIL SOON. ALL THE BEST, WALTER.

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Due to the recent virus outbreaks, our email system automatically removes all attachments. You will have to use the fax, but I assure you it is secure.
Thanks,
King Henry

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DEAR KING HENRY. I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL, WITH IT'S ADVISE NOTED. I WILL BE SENDING YOU THE FAX BEFORE THE NEXT 30 MINUTES, SO , NOTE. HOWEVER, BE INFORMED THAT THE PAPER IS AS A KIND OF CLASSIFIED ONE, THEREFORE, I HOPE IT WILL NOT BE EXPOSED TO THE DIRECT RECEIPIENT. YOU HAVE TO COMPLETE THE FORM AND RETURN TO THE DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN OPERATION, CHIEF DR. O ODUYEMI, ON FAX NUMBER: 234 - 1- 7594192, ACCORDINGLY. YOU ARE ALSO, REQUESTED TO CONTACT HIM ON HIS DIRECT PHONE:[phone], FOR FURTHER ADVISE AS SOON AS YOU RETURN THE COMPLETED FORM. PLEASE SPEEDY UP, AND DO KEEP ME UPDATED IN ALL SITUATION. CAN I HAVE YOUR DIRECT MOBILE PHONE NUMBER? THIS IS DUE TO EMMERGENCY THAT MAY OCCURE SOMETIMES.
ALL THE BEST,
WALTER.

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DEAR KING HENRY, I HAVE TRIED TO SEND YOU THE FAX NOT QUITE LONG AGO,BUT THE NUMBER WAS RINGING WITHOUT RESPONSE ALSO, I TRIED TO CALL YOUR PHONE BUT A LADY ATTENDED TO ME AND ADVISED ME TO CALL TOMORROW,HENCE, THERE IS A HOLIDAY TODAY. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME , NOTIFYING ME THAT ALL IS WELL, SHORTLY. BYE! WALTER.

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It was broken, please keep trying. Sorry for the delayed response, but there was holiday yesterday.
King Henry Skywalker

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DEAR KING HENRY, THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL. I CALLED YOU THIS EVENING MY TIME BUT GOT YOUR ABSCENT IN YOUR EXTENSION. PLEASE BE CLEAR IN YOUR STATEMENT , SO THAT I WILL KNOW IF YOU YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE FAX CLEAR OR NOT. THAT IS THE ONLY DELAY WE HAVE AT THIS POINT. SIMPLY LET NE KNOW IF THE FAX IS CLEAR OR NOT, SO THAT I CAN RESEND AS THE CASE MAY BE, TO ENABLE YOU TO COMPLETE IT AND RETURN , THEN WE CAN ROUND UP EVERY NECCESSARY PROCESS. GOD BLESS YOU! WALTER.

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Yes, the fax went through. I'll get right on it. Thanks.

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I haven't heard from him since, so I hope the Secret Service visited him.

LMAO

[krugdm]

Ahh, the force is strong in you King Skywalker!

Roadrunner must be pre-filtering my email because I have only gotten one of these ever. You'd think that eventually they'd catch on to when they're being scammed themselves...

here's what a radio guy did

[Xaoswolf]

Quin [warroom.com] gives them his own phone number, so when they call, they are paying huge phone bills, just so he can tell them to shove it.

One time, someone even called him while he was on the air, the connection was poor so he couldn't have as much fun with it as he wanted, but still, it was rather funny.