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Journal Stargoat's Journal: Universal Truth and the American Dating Male 6

Journal by Stargoat
Back when I was not married, I used to like to spend time with women. You could almost say I was a ladies' goat. My friends all noticed the rate at which I went through relationships with women. I dated a great many women. Black women, asian women, white women, rich women, poor women, smart women, and kind women. I am not bragging (well, maybe a little) but I am trying to demonstrate that my advice consists of universal truths.

A great number of my male friends have difficulty talking to women, or asking women on dates. I do not understand this, though when I was a teenager, I was like this in habit as well. I grew out of it. Here are my three secrets on how to ask out women.

1. Women are people. They like to smile and laugh, think and not think, sleep and spend time with their friends, be gracious and be pouty, have sex and be coy. They are individuals, each with their own goals, dreams, desires, despairs, truths and delusions. Like anyone else, they like to be treated as human beings; after all, they are human beings, complete with profundities and fooleries. Women should not be placed on pedestals, nor be dismissed out of hand. Women are not mysterious, irrational, nor mystical. Tolerate from a woman what you would tolerate from a male friend. Respect should exist in both directions.

2. To ask a woman out, walk up to her and ask her out. Make no falsehoods about your actual motives. "Hi, my name is Stargoat, and I was wondering if you would like to see a movie and eat dinner with me tonight." When the woman says no, say "Thank you. I hope I've not bothered you." When the woman says yes, say, "Great. Let's meet at [restaurant] and we'll see [movie show at movie theatre] tonight." (Gentlemen, do not let the woman pick you up in her car. You do not want to be beholden to her to drive you home. Likewise, you do not want to be beholden to drive her home.) Most of all, you do not want to be upset if things do not go the way you would like them to. I despise Taoism, but this is one instance when I would suggest a Tao outlook. What can happen will happen. What has not happened could not have happened any other way.

3. Be confident in yourself. If you are not complete and happy with yourself, you will not be complete and happy in the presence of a friend, or in the company of a woman. This is a truth not just about dating, but rather about all of life. The only person who will ever totally be on your side is yourself. If you do not appreciate yourself for who you are, you must do one of two things. First, change who you are. (Yes, this is fairly easy to do. Should only take a couple of years.) Second, just begin to like yourself. (This is also fairly easy to do.) But if you do not like yourself, and you do not have confidence in yourself, you will not be successful in life, and especially not successful when dating.

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Universal Truth and the American Dating Male More

Universal Truth and the American Dating Male

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  • What do you make of Christianity?

    It appears much the same to my eyes, except that idol worship has been grafted on...

    • Depends on the version. Calvanism strikes me as being onerous for the same reason Taoism does. But ultimately in most forms of Christianity, your fate is your own. It encourages growth and self-reliance. In that respect, I guess I like it better, though that phrase doesn't seem to quite fit.

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