Journal SolemnDragon's Journal: Strange dream 17
(Yesterday, L. & i went shopping. Two suits, three sweaters, two blouses, $300.00. Not a bad haul, and MAJOR discounts due to a sale that was going on. All at least two steps classier than i am accustomed to.)
I went to sleep sorta vaguely on time, and dreamt a lot.
In my dream, it was my last turn on earth. I stood in the great assembly of people and Papa (for those that ain't familiar with my hoodoo pagan roots, that's god, fer me) looked upon us all. He smiled, and told us about why we walked around in the little orderly lines of an earthly life. No, of course he didn't go into pertinent details. He couldn't, cause i'm still living one.
But he did talk about the fact that we have a lot of room to change those earthly lives when we really want to, but wanting to isn't enough- we have to become the kinds of people who are ABLE to, and that's where it gets weird, because we have to kind of guess at what traits we need to become different. He pointed out that even the slightest change was something that got us involved in the process, and that once we got involved, when we changed even the tiniest freckle on the face of the world, we were more than just people walking little lines- we were part of the process, and part of god.
Interesting. There was more to it, there WAS some personal stuff after that, but it was specifically relevant to my life, and the stuff that a friend-slash-ex is going through, and how i can and can't help them, and how i can and can't watch over them. Also quite a bit about the fact that, metaphorically speaking, i'm still learning how to drive, and can't be expected to really know all the roads yet. People- including that friend- who are angry/frustrated with me for having to constantly ask directions, for having to constantly restart my stalled life, for having to spend all my time going slowly down the wrong streets, forget that steering is new and being able to reach the pedals even newer. I'm still learning the art of not driving into bridge abutments, let alone getting to far-off places.
*sigh*
I'll get there, though.
It was a hard dream. No one likes to be reminded that their an amateur. Sopmehow, in the dream, my being a beginner (again) at learning this stuff did not exclude me from being ready to take a turn in another area, watching over people rather than playing. On the other hand, there's a lot to be said for my current amateur status, including that it keeps kids like me from arrogantly, deliberately hurling ourselves down the expert slopes, the really bad choices and tough places.
That's what's hard for me about the world. Even if you aren't ready, you get hurled down the expert slopes, and not everybody survives.
then i dreamt a couple of beautiful stories, one about a man whose wife came back as a crow, and he chose to transform into a crow to be closer to her and to have that in common on the next run-through. The second was about a lion who came back as a person, and the other lions in her pack (she had been a male lion, but came out female as a person- and chose circus lion acts as a career, and was a particularly kind keeper) chose to come back either in her act or as people near her. It was very sweet, and only made confusing by the fact that i'm not really sure we have souls, let alone reincarnated ones.
One of the new meds seems to work. Side effect: heartburn. That's supposed to be temporary, and yes i took it with food. Today i go to sunday dinner again. There will be caramels for dessert, and quite a few things that need taste testing. He promises there are no fish oils in them this time.
The bad news is that, thanks to the current flare, i woke up with a discoid rash on my hand, a sure sign that things really aren't going right in my immune system right now. That scares me- i haven't had one in awhile- but i knew i was in a flare, and i knew that this happens. As long as it's not followed by a rash on my face, i'm all right. For now. I keep hoping that rest and the new med will ease the flare, but i just can't rest enough right now; there's too much to do.
I'll try to rest more in the week ahead.
How about you? You any good with the life-driving? you believe in reincarnation? or in souls? It's fine, either way- no flamewars here. I obviously don't have an entirely coherent belief system. Do you know where you're going, and how to not drive into the oncoming traffic or the guard rails in your life?
PS Yesterday was dubiousdave's birthday. i tried calling to wish him a happy birthday but he was out. Send him an email or something, blue had the good idea that he needs to be flooded with birthday wishes right about now. Online gift certificates are great, too. Bluefairee posted an appeal in her journal for him to get lots of attention, since he's had a particularly rough month with the lifesaving efforts and all...)
Life (Score:1)
...and driving (Score:1)
Re:...and driving (Score:1)
When I was in that situation, I called myself agnostic [google.com]. I guess I didn't really know what the word meant at the time.
Truth be told, "agnostic" still applies to me. But that doesn't mean I don't believe.
life-driving (Score:2)
Nope ;-) I seem to be driving on icy roads with summer tires and no brakes most of the time :-)
you believe in reincarnation? or in souls?
Yep. In both these two. And as with you, I don't have an entirely coherent belief system. I just believe in what I believe in, and I don't feel it's necessary to get into deep discussions about it or defend myself or anything. Once I start doing that, I start formalizing my beliefs, and then they become meaningless..
Training wheels (Score:2)
I tries my best (Score:2)
For the most part, I've been happy to sit around and see what life turns up for me. But I've been taking more control recently in some areas, such as my money, my time spent on the Internet, my artistic side, and helping out others.
you believe in reincarnation? or in souls?
I don't believe in reincarnation and souls per se. Rather, I see a great big pot full of life, out of which a spoonful is taken to create a living thing. When that thing dies, the li
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Not reincarnation per se (Score:1)
Life or something like it (Score:2)
Sometime when we are very young (and we always are) we forget to look before we jump down the advanced ski slope. We may fall or make it all the way to the bottom. Either way, at least we got to exper
Actually... (Score:2)
I'm actually sailing my life. Kind of look for the wind, make sure I've got what's important, and see where it takes me. I'm not getting there nearly as fast as I could, and the road I'm taking isn't the one I started out on, but I've got what's important.
I certainly do believe in souls and reincarnation, and the division and reunification of souls in extraordinary circumstances.
Amateur Night (Score:2)
Tell me about it. In fact... hiding in a relationship for a decade in an attempt to hide from the fact that you know you don't know shit... and not willing to come face to face with that fact.
I have dreams sorta like yours. Mostly it deals with people just being so completely frustrated with me, because I think I just ask all these really stupid questions... all I remember is just how frustrated these people get with me "you know dave... why don't you jus
Beliefs (Score:1)
Then, for a while, I was very Pagan, complete with more deities than Carter has little pills. Everything had a soul, of some sort. Everything re-incarnated, kind of like permanent recycling.
Now, well
Van Morrison song: Like A Full Force Gale (Score:2)
Like a full force gale
I was lifted up again
I was lifted up again by the Lord
And no matter where I roam
I will find my way back home
I will always return to the Lord
In the gentle evening breeze
By the whispering shady trees
I will find my sanctuary in the Lord
Driving? (Score:1)
I believe in a semblance of the Christian sort of God, all-knowing and all powerful...but he's a Deist sort of God, either unwilling or unable to interfere down here directly.
I also believe in spirits, angels, demons. There's a background struggle going on between the powers who want to uplift the world and those who want to enslave it, or destroy it out of spite. We humans are either pawns or fighters
My life, motorized (Score:2)
I'm driving it in the cab of my monster truck, crushing everyone else under my wheels.
Oh, all right, I'm being carted on the wheelbarrow of life.
Cheers,
Ethelred
Re: (Score:2)
Life-Driving (Score:2)
"Incoherent belief system" - I like that. It's a perfect description of my own spiritual wonderings. At the most general, I believe we are a spiritual being using these bodies to experience different things. I don't think of people as having souls