...what'll it do if I already hallucinate every day? I'm hallucinating that I'm locked in my closet with Alyssa Milano right now!

They're still making new dinosaurs?!

...they went out of business. I've been waiting for this for fifteen years! That's what you get for charging me that $1.50 late fee in 1998, suckers!!! Hahahaha!!! Where's your god now!?!?

An LHC the size of a garden gnome should be big enough for anyone.

But I like jellyfish! They're crunchy and tasty and so tentacly good!

But will it make my voice all squeaky if I breathe too close to it?

I always have wonderful experiences using Wikipedia for information. I sometimes even survive without major injury!

A few years ago my town started making people dispose of their old microwave ovens at a special "transfer" location at the town dump, rather than just letting us bury them in our backyard like they used to. I've always wondered what they did with all those microwave ovens. Now I know.

Wait, those little nubby headphones are supposed to be earbuds?

Indeed. They are far too easily targeted by ICBMs.

I employ a small team of garden gnomes to do my backups for me. It works wonderfully: Their underground caverns make excellent secure off-site backup locations.

But what about that time I got my head wedged in a railing...? Was that aliens too...?

There are six key questions NASA hopes to answer during Messenger's year-long orbit of Mercury: why is Mercury so dense;

Aliens.

what is the planet's geological history;

Aliens.

what is the nature of Mercury's magnetic field;

Alien warp engines.

what is the structure of Mercury's core;

Alien space station.

what are the unusual materials (ice?) at Mercury's poles;

Alien ice.

and what volatiles are important at Mercury?

Aliens farting.