Geesh.. give the guy a break. He does't have wifi at home, so there is no infrastructure for this and my guess is they'd rather not have to by the most expensive printer for someone who doesn't print very often.
Some AirPrint compatible devices support ad-hoc mode, and even if they don't its hardly expensive to setup compared to data costs for uploading and downloading every document you want to print over 3G/4G
BTW, I read "penchant for maliciously storing data about people" and initially thought Apple.
A company that makes huge profits by selling premium grade hardware items and provides a supporting ecosystem for those that want it, vs an advertising company that actively does all it can to track and identify your personal habits. Right, apple is the one to be worried about.
My father-in-law has a AirPrint capable printer and has all sorts of problems. So obviously this isn't an easy solution.
I once bought a car that was a lemon so I guess this idea of internal combustion automobiles is not an easy solution and should be ignored by all.