2 Well, believe it or not, no TSO wants to pat you down.: If you want to avoid pat-downs, then first you need to not be a brown-skinned male with a beard and an Islamic-sounding name. That sucks, but it's true. Second, don't be a PITA. Don't have weird shit in your carry-on, have your pockets really empty, be polite, pleasant and attentive to everyone you see (just like you do every day, right?).
Oh, also, don't be a heavy sweater. Sorry, but sweat-soaked clothing is an excellent reflector of mm-wave, and those spots will yellow-flag and often get you a quick hand-check.