The Method of Calculating Copyright Infringement Damages:

1) Multiply # of illegal downloads by the last 4 digits of Defendant's telephone number for value A.

2) Divide value A by Defendant's Age for value B.

3) Multiply value B by 1000 for value C.

4) Multiply Defendant's weight by Defendant's Zip Code for value D. (For Zip codes that use a combination of numbers and letters, convert to Base-10 depending on the letter's position in the alphabet, then divide by a factor of 100)

5) Add values C and D together. The result is the total damages the Defendant has caused.

6) Sue the Defendant into eternal debt.

7) Cite previous court cases to support the damages claim.

8) Sing a paraphrased line from "Sixteen Tons": "When Saint Peter calls his name tell him he can't go, because he owes his soul to the Company Store....."

If a kid swallows a rare-earth magnet, the best thing to do is to seek medical attention RIGHT AWAY. Secondly, TAKE THE SOURCE OF THE MAGNETS AWAY FROM THEM!

A suitable punishment for such behavior would be to make them eat things that no kid would want to eat:

1. Chili peppers,
2. Castor oil (the medical stuff),
3. Lima beans,
4. Anchovies / Sardines

You can also spray some electronics duster on the stuff you don't want them to eat, but know they will.

The 'compressed air' stuff sold at electronics shops contains Bitrex, which I found out the hard way (by accident) tastes like absolute crap, makes everything else taste like absolute crap, stays on the hands (until they get a good scrubbing), and will linger for an hour or so in your mouth.

(This is the kind of stuff that happens when a bunch of cops get bored and realize the department is awash in office supplies and Christmas food. It made a better prank than crank-calling the Lt. from the office next to his, but that's another story.....)

Possibly, but the degaussing would probably be due to the force of the magnet slamming up against the machine after it shot out of the kid.....

Would be pretty funny if it was strong enough to levitate the kid, though. The look on the technician would be priceless.....

Right! Get on it. You will need to get the cleaning chemicals out of the tape safe.....

May God help them if that thing carried the Spice Channel!

1. The Bastard Bible: The Tome From Hell.
2. The Compleat BOFH.
3. Kama Sutra

Pop quizzes every Friday. Tardiness punishable by 2 days in the comms cupboard. Unexcused absences punishable by cattle prod.

I think we may have another drunk Russian commie on our hands.....

"He who lulz last, lulz best"

A leak website complaining about some leaking documents about it? Delicious!

That's the problem with Assange and Wikileaks..... They are essentially griefers who can't swallow their own medicine. They think it is O.K. leak everybody else's secrets, which they have no right to do, but they run and cower behind lawyers when someone releases WikiLeaks' secrets.

Talk about hypocrites!

***** THERE IS NO HOTSPOT ON THE MOON *****
***** THERE ARE NO VOLCANOES ON THE MOON *****
***** THE EVIDENCE IS OF VOLCANISM 800,000,000 YEARS AGO *****

derGoldstein, please read the articles you BEFORE you type the summary AND TITLE. I mean, if you are linking to an article, please read it first.

Sincerely,

The Rest Of SlashDot