It's a tsunami of hyperbole.
Now you're just exaggerating.
It's a hyperbole drone.
bacon-flavoured bacon bits, wrapped in bacon -- if that's a thing
Canada is a wonderful place, but one thing that Canadians do not know about is bacon. Hint: it's not ham. OTOH the British have great bacon (more meat than the American stuff). Go figure.
Sorry, but as a Canadian, if I ordered bacon and got ham, I would be quite perturbed, flabbergasted even. What you call Canadian Bacon, is known as back bacon up here. What we call bacon is the same as what you 'Merican's call bacon. Also, I was in a subway chain in the the US and ordered a BLT. They were using deep fried bacon. What an abomination. Fried all the flavour out of that poor excuse for bacon. What sort of deviant deep fries bacon, Eh?
If you didn't have to work so hard, you'd have more time to be depressed.