Journal GMontag's Journal: XMas Conversion or Zionist Fruitcake Plot? 4
While making a rambling, print-writer gripe about Christmas, Eve Fairbanks now asserts that she is Jewish.
Since it's the holiday more nationally fawned over than the Fourth of July, consuming an entire month between Thanksgiving and the New Year, and propping up the whole year's retail economy, it is bizarre to me -- as a Jew -- that everyone I know who actually celebrates it seems to hate Christmas.
Being Jewish is fine, of course, but it may seem to some like an odd way to enhance diversity in the choir at the Rock Creek Parrish, St. Paul's Episcopal Church. Perhaps the local Episcopal Diocese of Washington, DC is sick of the Virginia Diocese getting all of the headlines?
Perhaps all of this XMas war stuff pushed her over the edge? Now there is a headline: Christians Turn to Judaism over XMas Jihad!
Perhaps she is now Jewish in the same manner as the Honorable Senator John F. Kerry (the highest decorated veteran from both sides of the Vietnam War) and Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (the highest decorated wife of a Vietnam War Draft Dodger)? You know, that 'genetic' sort of Jewish. No recent discovery was included in the article.
There is always the possibility that she was 'forced' by that 'Zionist cult' (as it is known in some circles) also known as The New Republic and is in need of some National Socialist intervention? Perhaps 'Flapjacks' can flip to the rescue? For someone already linked to both 'boogie man' terms, 'Zionist' and Skull & Bones' the conspiracy hacks can retire writing about 'the links' to her recent promotion to Assistant Editor at The New Republic.
More plausibly, perhaps, she had a recent conversion? The article certainly does not read that way, but writing in a deceptive manner is a pretty old and major tradition in journalism, as are a few others.
Could it be related to the pirate conspiracy thing?
Perhaps she has seen enough episodes of Seinfeld and has studied the Anti-Dentite episode enough to call herself Jewish? This could offend Jerry, as a comedian, and no telling what Larry David would do. Better not let David Steinberg and David Brenner find out either. And I don't want to think about what sort of Festivus issues this could raise.
Another possibility, of course, is the use of deceptive context. . . . it is bizarre to me -- as a Jew -- could be the "we are all Jews" context with the remaining words in the passage being in a completely different context. Much like a Dowdification without ellipses.
One can never discount the possibility of Fairbanksing with the author in question. Of Course, it could really be something about the fruitcake.
New info 20 Dec. 2006 12:46:
Over here at Reason there is more discussion of the magic fruitcake that transforms Gentiles into Jews as well as a suspected Irving Berlin connection. Seems Mr. Berlin is also connected to They Must Be Giants.
Someone has to say it.... (Score:2)
Just let it go man...just let it go...
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Didn't really think about writing anything until I saw the Reason H&R item about the XMas wars and I do admit to the 'Anonniemouse' post over there.
Then the "Anti-Dentite" episode of Seinfeld filled my tiny little brain . . .
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Do they last longer than that Jewish lamp oil?