GMontag's Journal: I might be an Asshole, but You are from Boston

A continuation on Everybody wants My Barstool

So, I show up at my local Bailey's and squeeze onto one of the last open the barstools, flanked by a nice looking blonde woman and some guy. The blonde was in deep conversation with some guy and had jewelry catalogs taking up space in front of her and in front of me. I asked both if the barstool was taken, was ignored by my new neighbors so I pulled the seat out, sat down, scooted back up to the bar.

I reached for one of the numerous ashtrays arrayed in front of me and lit up, noticing some exaggerated movement from the woman, so I moved the ashtray as far from her, without putting it in the space of my other neighbor, as possible. Then she and her friend start discussing moving to another location. Still not moving any of her stuff and certainly not moving closer to her friend and actually providing a full sitting spot for me. I pretended to ignore them.

The guy to my right ordered food then got up and went someplace, the blonde asks me if I can move my ashtray farther away.

I responded: "Well, no someone else is sitting to my right and he just ordered food, I don't think it would be nice to put my ashtray in his space."

Blonde: "Don't get so excited, I just asked you to move your ashtray."

Me: "Where do you want me to move it to? It is already as far away from you as possible?"

Blonde: "Just calm down! I only asked you to move your ashtray!"

Me: "Look, there is a non-smoking area in this restaurant, right over there (pointing), Ted's Montana Grille is right down the street, it is all non-smoking, DC is right across the river with lots of non-smoking places there . . ."

I finally discover that the guy to my right had actually moved to the non-smoking area, without bothering to tell his bartender. He did this as soon as his food order was taken.

The blonde finally moved her stuff to her own area in front of her.

After a few drinks, the blonde tells me how nice I was to keep my cigarette away from her and was dripping in compliments, while her guy friend was in the bathroom. Then she pulls out a Marlboro Light and asks me for a light. Eventually she reveals that she works for GSA too.

AMAZING

  After things thin out a little more, I went to relieve myself in the bathroom, leaving a full beer and a pack of Winston Lights on the bar, centered on my barstool, flanked by one empty barstool where the blonde was and about four empty barstools to the right.

Yes, my loyal readers already know what happens next . . .

I return and some guy, who had been bouncing between tables with what appeared to be business associates, is leaning on my barstool trying to get the attention of the bartender even though his waitress was at the waitress stand.

Me: "Excuse me."

Him: "what?"

Me: "Mind if I sit back in my spot?"

Him: Looks, pauses, puzzled "were you sitting here?"

Me: "Yes, didn't I leave you enough clues?"

He moves over, barely to the next open barstool. I sit and light another smoke.

About 5 minutes or so later . . .

Him: "Didn't leave enough clues?"

Me: "Yea."

Him: "You are an asshole."

Me: "Are you from New York?"

Him: "No, Boston."

Me: "Well, I might be an asshole but you are from Boston."

For some reason he decide not to press his position and moved along when he got some more booze.

Bostonians aren't *that* bad

[RevMike]

They do have a massive inferiority complex with respect to NY which can be the source of hours of entertainment, but don't make it sound like they are Philadelphians.

Re:

[GMontag]

The JE was more of a comment on how the rudeness of the self-centered patrons surrounding me steadily escalated to the point of a clueless dope had to call me a nasty name when I was just trying to have a few beers and a pack of smokes.

Re:

[buffer-overflowed]

Hey! That hurts! I'm a Philadelphian, we're #2!

*mumble* *mumble* plus at least philadelphia and boston picked the right side of the revolutionary war, unlike *some* people *mumble* *mumble*

But hey, at least none of us are from Jersey, amiright? Yea, I'm right.