Ethelred Unraed's Journal: Today's German lesson

WARNING! Lots of naughty words ahead!

As a public service, I would like to offer these useful phrases for traveling in Germany.

Scheiße
Shit

Dreck
Crap (literally "dirt" or "crud")

Verpiss' dich.
(literally) Piss off

Arschloch
Asshole

Schwanz
(literally "tail") Slang word for "penis"

Eier
(literally "eggs") Slang word for "testicles"

Ich trete Dich in die Eier
I'm going to kick you in the nuts

Schwanzlutscher
Cocksucker

Fick' dich ins Knie
Literally "fuck you in the knee" -- the only German equivalent to "fuck you".

Du kannst mich mal.
Roughly "you can do 'it' to me". The somewhat toned-down version of the following:

Du kannst mich kreuzweise am Arsch lecken.
Literally "you can lick my ass crosswise" -- an extreme form of "kiss my ass".

Ich trete Dich in den Arsch
I'm going to kick your ass.

...

And now, the reason for this little explosion of passive-aggressive angry-man translation:

Dieser Rechner ist ein Stück Scheiße, und ich trete den Verkäufer in den Arsch
This PC is a piece of shit, and I'm going to kick the salesman's ass

Hey

[btlzu2]

Ich trete Dich in die Eier
You forgot "square" what's "square"? That's very important to that sentence. It's probably quadranzie or something...hey, where's Babelfish?

This is cool, I will bookmark this as a reference and use it against you in all forums when you're being a pain in the ass...which is pretty much always, so WATCH OUT!

Ihre Mutter!
Verpiss' dich, arschloch.

Thanks for the lesson!!!

My German

[bethanie]

I won't even attempt to spell stuff, 'cause I only learned it "orally" (heh heh), but my German consists of:

• You are an asshole.
• You are stupid.
• Do you have a big hard-on?
• I'm a little honey bear!
• Hurt me, pleeeease!

I felt so bad for the West German exchange student I met in Australia the summer I was 14 -- I heard he was from Germany, immediately laid my best German on him, and was then shocked when he tried to grope me later on that evening. Aaaaah, the glorious, naive, innocent days of youth! :-)

(So

Re:My German

[elmegil]

Hurt me, pleeeease!

I don't recall you bringing up THIS part of your upbringing before...

Re:My German

[bethanie]

Oh, we cater to ALL tastes & persuasions here at Madame Bethanie's Casa de Pleasure.

....Bethanie....

Re:My German

[Ethelred Unraed]

Madame Bethanie's Casa de Pleasure

Given the JE topic, that would be Fräulein Bethanies Haus der Freude, thankyouverymuch.

Cheers,

Ethelred

Re:My German

[bethanie]

You are certainly correct, but due to the kind of day I've had, I'm lucky to have come up with any words at all in *any* language. A little Spanglish qualifies as sheer genius for today. Bleargh.

....Bethanie....

die eire von satan

[heliocentric]

Bim sala bim!