Both. Men need to learn to communicate _differently_ with women and consider their feelings. And women need to learn not to take everything so fucking personal.
Bzzzzzzt. Wrong answer! or You're being a fuckwad. Don't do this.
This is not a gender-based difference. It's bullshit gender-stereotyping to think women need thicker skins, or than men need to be softer when dealing with women. I know plenty of women that can dish out and receive much blunter criticism than average, and plenty of men who can't.
This is a matter of different communication styles and is irrespective of gender. Insular communities that have made bluntness (or worse, crudeness) an acceptable form of communication are inherently hostile to people that find that unacceptable. As a result, they will lose the support and contributions from people that value less toxic communication.
On the flip side, too much caveating and balancing of emotion can be stifling to those who do not value amicability in their communications. This also can have a negative impact on participation. This is basic human communication skills, and requires finding the right balance based on the personalities of the participants in determining what the collective group will value and respond best to.
It's very well known that the Linux kernel community weighs very heavily to one side of the spectrum, and honestly it's as the public face, Linus sets the tone (intentionally or not). This is a very good example of a well-respected person making it clear that they are self-limiting their contributions specifically because of how communications within the community are balanced.
Chalking this up to "men and women are different' is a disingenuous attempt to sidetrack the discussion with a red herring.