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Comment: Dear Criminal Coder: (Score 1) 117 117

I hope this letter finds you getting cuffed and stuffed as I write this. I just wanted to let you know what is in store for you as you are being carted away.

1) Real life is way different than your mom's basement. You'll soon discover that when you are in a prison cell.
2) Getting your ass beat up and pummeled will be a daily norm. Only difference is that you will actually get beat and feel every last inch of pain while you really get tea bagged.
3) Saying "I was just trolling" or "LOL Internet" will not stop an ass beating. Saying "U Mad, Bro?" will make the beating worse.
4) You quickly learn that online bravery is far different from real life bravery. Especially if you drop the N Bomb to a group of your fellow black inmates.
5) If you are an anal virgin: You won't be for long.
6) Ass rape. Get use to it. Fast.
7) There is no such thing as respawn points or resurrrection spells in RL. It's permadeath and we hope it is an excruciating one you get.
8) See #7 if you think you can reload your life.
9) Dropping a bar of soap in a prison shower gets you #6. Probably another #2 if the first ass kicking didn't get you a #7 or if they just feel like it.
10) There are no sock puppets or proxies or anonymity in the real world. So snitching or saying the N word will just net you another #2. That and show you really are stupid and learned nothing from the first #2.
11) As you lay beat up and your anus damaged: Just remember that you can turn off your life like a computer: It's called Suicide. Only difference is you can't restart or turn your life back on.

Everybody. Even your mom.

Comment: Re:Yahoo has maps? (Score 1) 176 176

Who knew?

When I read the title in my Yahoo Mail I was like "Why is Google shutting it down? Has Skynet become sentient now and wants to confuse humanity without maps?!"

Then 'i realized it was Yahoo and not Google and then was like "Oh. Nevermind. When did they have Maps and what the hell are Pipes?"

I need to enact a rule not to read anything until I've downed at least my first pot of coffee in the morning.

Comment: Corelation != Causality (Score 1) 205 205

What does Tomorrowland eating a big one in the box office got to do with Tron 3?

I mean come on! Tomorrowland has George Clooney! He raped the Batman series and it took a few years before the public recovered from the shock and enjoyed Batman Begins without much PTSD. So why should it come as a shock Tomorrowland was going to flop? Why punish us who liked Tron?

Comment: Re:when? (Score 1) 182 182

The first question that comes to mind is:

How long would it have taken comcast and AT&T, if it hadn't been for EPB?

That is not my first question.

My first question is: Is anybody truly surprised that Comcast did this?

If your answer is "Yes", then my next question is: What rock did you crawl out from under or what planet are you from?

Comment: LOL Rand Paul (Score 1) 438 438

Yeah. He is a failure, like his father before him.

I find it sad, pathetic and overall anger inducing that people will side for a political party regardless of absolute wrong they are. Republicans and Democrats are many decades out of date and want to force us backwards, not forwards. So, because anachronisms like Rand Paul and the Grand OLD Party (LOL TeaBag Party!) don't understand how the internets work but are more than happy to take cash from the Telecos, of course they will ignore the fail of the ideas they promote.

Comment: Re:a customer couldn't sue a car company, or any b (Score 1) 104 104

Suppose you bought a car which had a significant safety defect. You sue the car company. After a spending a million dollars on lawyers and experts, the company's lawyers convince the judge that you filed suit in the wrong court, so you lose. Now you owe the car company a million bucks. That type of outcome would happen often enough that it would be very, very rare for anyone to sue someone with more money than they have.

Instead, the fees are based on fairness- if you file a frivolous suit, you can plan on being ordered to pay the defendant's costs. Also, if you clearly CAUSE a suit, you can be ordered to pay the other party's costs. As an example, suppose you write to the car company asking them to fix the defect, at a cost of $350. They give you the run around for two years, promising to fix it but they never fix it. They admit it's a problem, they admit they caused the problem, but they just won't fix it without being sued. In such a case, you'd probably be awarded costs (and possibly treble damages).

The flaw with your analogy is that most incidents like you describe result in major class action law suits and not a bunch of individual ones being done by wronged parties. This would even out the costs and pay outs if something were to go wrong or if there is a settlement.

Also, and I use many of the major incidents with car recalls and defects as of late: Most major corps facing defective equipment class actions would rather settle it quickly than face trial as they might already be in a worse court: the Court of Public Opinion. A true PR Hell to get out of.

Take GM for example. They wanted to both fix their problems quickly (to salve off more class actions and look like they care) and settle it quickly (to minimize the financial and PR damages and look like they care) in order to continue doing what they normally do. However, that all blew up in their face when a paper trail emerged that they knew for quite some time of the problems. Now, a bit off topic, they are using the fact they are under bankruptcy protection as a defense. However, even if they get away with the financial payments, they still have to deal with the PR damage and that maybe difficult to do.

Unless what I've always suspected is true: The entire US has a bad case of ADHD and forgets it all when some other news shiney comes out.

Comment: Re:I hope it's a publicity stunt (Score 1) 118 118

In that case, Dr. Mehmet Cengiz Öz will certainly be recommending on his next show as a miracle weight loss technique.

I also heard "Dr." Oz will be getting a name transplant.

He'll be replacing "Oz" with either "Quack" or "Fraud". Although my favorite is "Homeopathy-SoldOut-Nut"

Comment: Re:Write your Congresscritters (Score 1) 209 209

Time to write your representatives and tell them you oppose this bill. Seriously. Go to their web sites and write them. The only way you can attempt to derail this thing is to be proactive and tell the people elected to represent your interests what your interests ARE.

Good luck. You'll need it.

Now if you really want to get this done: Become a corporation (because they are now people after all) and use the billions of votes called "money" that you have to convince them to vote against the bill. The more Dollar Votes you give them, the better!

Comment: Re:A BIG thumbs-up so far! (Score 1) 114 114

I've seen 3 episodes so far and it's been enough to make me wonder why regular TV is such crap in comparison.

I've seen 3 episodes so far and it's been enough to make me wonder why regular TV is such crap in comparison.

I have seen more than three. It isn't good. It's GGGG-Great!

It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.