Trailer Park Boys has taught us that you can steal anything if you first move it from a person's house to the side of the road. Once it's at the side of the road, it's trash and free for the taking so it's not really illegal to take it. You can easily use this method to appropriate grills, patio furniture, yard decorations, etc.
Somewhat ironic that you would post this the same day another critical bug is announced in Linux. Time to spend tomorrow updating glibc! As for viruses, it's been a while since I had to deal with any in Windows.
"...but unless people were having sex with chimps..."
Because the only way to transmit HIV is through sex? As the article itself notes (I know, in our fast-paced age, you cannot be expected to read an entire article), transmission likely happened through blood while eating the meat. Much more plausible.