The key for charity to work is zeroing in on the whole not being a "douche bag" part
Here let me give you a few examples to help you understand.
1. You are the town drunk/drug user. You've been arrest 10 times before you were 18 and now you are homeless and hungry. Douche bag.
2. You are the child of the town drunk. Your father is in jail....again and you are hungry and homeless. Not a douche bag
3. It's ten years later since you were the child of the town drunk, and now you are out on the corner begging for money because you are a drug user, hungry, and homeless just like your dear old dad. Douchebag.
4. You are a bunch of politically connected and corrupt unionized workers and corporate boobs at the largest automobile manufacturer in the world and after decades of helping run the company into the ground, need a 50 billion dollar bailout in order to avoid being unemployed. Douche bag
See how that works. Not a douche bag, you deserve help. Douche bag you should be told to go pound sand.