I didn't think this
would become reality so fast
I think it's really amazing that THIS even got published - everything looks like they didn't even try ubuntu for more than a day before making this comparison. Do you call THAT journalism? This could well be written by Microsoft!
Nobody is going to be having sex with a zombie.
haven't you ever been on the internet?
In case of injury notify your superior immediately. He'll kiss it and make it better.