luckily, the fears drawn up about the conversation that I needed to encounter in was all for not, it actually went much better than planned and this I am quite happy about. Even though the issue is still left unresolved in a sense I feel that there is some sort of solution. What I had found was that sometimes things are better left unresolved. That bringing a subject up to satisfy your own curiosity and resolve your own concerns can hurt others and that internalizing your pain sometimes is the right thing to do even though people always say that you need to express your feelings. So, in effect, I find that contrary to popular belief, even expressing things properly, can quite often be the wrong thing to do. Regardless, Im glad that the conversation is over and that I do not have to open it up again. The best case scenario is to let sleeping dogs lie and deal with only my own emotions about the situation, not wonder whether it is true or false.

Well, as of late I have encountered some very strong concerns of a personal nature. These things affect someone very close to me and are causing quite a bit of trouble in my head. While I do hope for the best and believe that there is nothing to worry about, I also have to prepare myself in case my worries are legit. The most unfortunate development is that in trying to convey my concerns, my emotions tend to create more trouble, which is why I prefer computers to humans. In a discussion about the subject with one of my family members, I kept feeling that my position was not fully understood, and that in translation, I sounded like an ass. Emotion and interpretation are the most difficult of the worlds problems, at least from my standpoint, and I sincerely with that it was as easy as programming, where if it works it works, if it doesnt rewrite. But life isn't as simple, you can find the proper syntax, get the right answer from your algorithm so to speak, and still not get the point across the way that it was intended. Anyway, its as frustrating a thing as I have ever encountered. If only we could break communication down to x is right and y is wrong. But, I guess thats a pipe dream, and the only place that works is with machines. I found that rather than try to make a diffult conversation off the cuff, that I would write it in letter form. That went well as far as the expression of ideas how i mean them, at least i hope so. The real test will be when I present said document to the concerned party and await the response. In the process of dealing with this issue, the closest and most level headed person i know misunderstood my concerns. I know I dont always express things correctly, especially when emotions are involved, but because of the nature of the subject matter, there is a great deal of disbelief. I dont blame anyone for feeling taken aback, opposed, or even hurt by the presented information, but if god forbid the problem is real, there are necessary precautions to be taken, if it is not, it is still a hard subject for anyone and will undoubtedly cause great stress. Unfortunately, being so important, there is no way that I could with clear conscience ignore the situation completely. And, I do this with great pain. Im quite sure that before this is over, there will be a great rift between many of us. Regardless of the outcome life will never be the same, and Im afraid of that time. As it stands right now, there is already stressors affecting many relationships, but its about to blow wide open. Tomorrow is the day of reckoning for this situation and hopefully it is smooth and swift. Im afraid , however, that it wont quite work out how I expect(things never do), and there will be a long journey to the end. I often wish I was a child or even a teenager, then you can claim ignorance, there is not really any important confrontation, and if you dont want to go to school you dont have to. But, you cant skip work and home and school and outside. Its just not a reality, and when all sides close in you feel like a caged animal. Who knows, maybe the worst is over, and all that is left is to build and rebuild relationships... On to better things...

Hello This is my first entry on slashdot. I first heard about slashdot from one of the community members and met a couple of others at a lunch in Boston. Upon review i have found a great deal of interesting information on the site. I suppose that a little background is in order. Im a Computer Science student and have just moved from C to JAVA. I cant say that i can write anything particularly cool yet, but im working on it. I find the realm of a virual machine utterly fascinating and look forward to full exploration of its capabilities. I never really considered myself a nerd. In fact I had supposed quite the opposite. You see, recently, as i passed the stage of searching for social status, i realize the vast untapped springs of intelligence, creativity, and resources that exist for a person in today's world. The rapid pace and exciting breakthroughs are awe inspiring, and in my belief are barely even opening up to their full potential. I need to be a part! I have found that math and coding have broadened just about every thought in my head. I will be regularly perusing the website, and occasionally will offer my comments on the content. Fortunately for the world i hardly ever talk about what i dont understand, hence, i may not say much. -B