Hell, I'm an alcoholic and drank heavily throughout my twenties. (And worked at various dot-coms in the good-old days. Was fired from a couple less liberal environments for showing up drunk in the morning. (I'm reminded of Lionel Hutz, who offers Marge a drink and pulls out a bottle. She says "It's 9am!" And he says "That's all right, I haven't slept for days." That was me.))

Anyways, I was a complete dick. I said really hurtful things to people. Sometimes people come up to me and say "hey, remember when you said 'blah blah blah' to George?" No. I really don't. I'm an alcoholic.

If you could be convicted for being a complete and utter asshole IRL, I would be in jail right now. Serving out a sentence for things I don't even remember doing.

(I quit drinking 4 years ago and am doing much better thank you.)

If you're not in America you wouldn't really get gun culture here. Many people think that when the government starts knocking on doors to take people's guns, that's the time we're going to need them the most. And I don't really disagree with them, although I've never even fired a gun. (I will get one for the zombie apocalypse though--which is about as real to me as another American Revolution would be, maybe even more real.)

The gun owners I know are responsible enthusiasts. In fact, I've never even known a person who's been shot, or had a family memeber shot, contrary to what you might hear about the US.

I recently had a mind-blowing conversation with the new maintenance guy. He's got one of those macho, forceful personalities that can't withstand criticism or anything against what he 'knows'. (Actual conversation. I wrote it down after to keep it fresh.)

Anyways, we were talking about the internet. He says "I read the internet all the time. I keep up on all the news. "

Then he says "You know those two Google guys are gay right?"

I say "Well, one is married and the other is about to be married. So unless they're on the Downlow, I don't think they're gay."

He says "Oh, I mean those two YouTube guys. And the Myspace guys. You know Google owns Myspace right?"

I say "Well, Google bought YouTube, but I don't think they have anything to do with MySpace."

He says "Yeah, Google bought MySpace. Anyways, those guys are gay. And I was also reading about the inventor of the internet!"

(I"m thinking "Tim Berners-Lee???? DARPA??? Who is he going to say is the inventor of the internet?)

He says" Yeah the inventor of the internet---MARK CUBAN."

I'm flabbergasted. Mark Cuban.

I say "Mark Cuban sold the site called Broadcast.com and became a billionaire. But he didn't invent the internet."

He says "Yeah he invented the BROWSER."

I say "I don't think he invented the browser. The first browser was called MOSAIC and invented by a bunch of specialists working for a university or the government or something."

He says "No he invented the internet.

I don't know what to say at this point and just say "uhhhhhhhh....ok.....Looks like you've been doing a lot of reading the internets."

419 no be thief, its just a game
Everybody dey play

419 is just a game,
you are the loser I am the winner
I go chop your dollar, I go take your money disappear.