That isn't a hurt she might want to work thru in the midst of other big life events. She might be really having fun with her friends on graduation day and not feel like opening that wound, and if she does not sit down and watch the video of day feel guilty at betraying your memory.
This is really insightful. My mom died when I was 20, which is probably better than if she had died when I was 6 -- or maybe worse, I don't know. I skipped my graduation ceremony for college and graduate school (no second parent either). I buried myself in doing things, hard and difficult things, as a way to alleviate the pain. I really don't know if I'd want to have to relive that pain periodically by watching videos. In fact I know I wouldn't have -- I'd inevitably feel like I was in some way, disappointing a ghost or missing that person or some other random negative emotion.
I probably didn't deal with things the right way when my mom died, and my response affected my whole life. I still will pick up a subject of one kind or another and totally immerse myself in it -- just like I did back then -- but now it is out of habit. It isn't even a joy thing. It's simply a means to get to a state of not-existing. I suppose it is better than having had used alcohol or drugs to achieve that feeling, but finding and engaging in new subjects at a totally immersive compulsive level isn't exactly healthy either.
I don't know what to to tell the poster -- I don't think I'm saying "don't leave videos" -- I was older and more aware than I would have been at six, I didn't have a second parent to pick up the slack, and I had my own personality oddities fully baked in. But, he should consider that it is possible that the kindest thing he can do, is to not leave a stack of videos. That making and leaving these videos is perhaps his way to not think about the disease and while they are a comfort to him, they would be a huge burden to his daughter.
Just last year while moving, I found a short final thoughts note my mom left for me, and I just totally broke down over it. That was a year ago and it still haunts me a little. A video would have been debilitating, at least for me.