*Vat* is zis man doing here?

"While I might think my country can make some pretty stupid choices, they aren't the kind that would destroy civilization."

Three more, more words: Mutually Assured Destruction.

Allow me to second the recommendation; Kismot is an excellent curry house. If you're ever in Edinburgh and fancy a curry, check it out. There's also a good pub - The Auld Hoose - just round the corner. The two combined make for an excellent evening out, and an awful morning after. :)

"CCTV does work"

No, it doesn't - ask all the researchers who did actual studies on behalf of the Home Office: CCTV systems 'fail to cut crime'

...or google 'home office study cctv'

"Researchers have identified the genetic mutation behind the condition."

Good. Can the rest of us have it now, please?

Good. Next story please...

Too bloody right. Tom Baker *is* the Doctor. And Daleks do *not* fly. Trust me; I'm British, and the uni I went to was well posh...

He's establishing his DNA as "prior art".

Exactly. And this needs to be done before commercial ownership of our genetic makeup gets any further out of control.

I'm on Facebook. How do I find out if Lovely Faces has "profiled" me?

...if they'll use footage from Dr. Strangelove?

"Slavery is illegal. No-one else can own your body except you."

And government should not be an exception, covertly or otherwise, to this.

"Now, I just don't travel."

Good boy. Stay. Stay.

"How do you know someone won't go homicidal while on pot?"

In the immortal words of the great prophet Hicks: "Because it's fucking impossible."

It gets worse. The other day I found out this girl I like actually believes in homeopathy.

(shudders)

Unfortunately, we don't have that luxury in the UK any more. If they demand your password, "I've forgotten it," is not a valid defense. You're not presumed innocent, and you're most likely going to jail. The maximum sentence for this under the RIP Act is two years. I wrote to my MP about this when the law was being debated, and to his credit, he did at least forward my letter to the Home Secretary at the time (David Blunkett) - who sent me a template "It's not a snooper's charter," response.