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Comment Re:Bullying? (Score 1) 282

Obviously, those pesky little Yurpian countries with their pesky little anti-capitalist laws just don't get what "Uber" really stands for. So they better stretch out their right arm at a 45 degree angle into the air, waving their wad of dollars (that pesky little dollar-ripoff "Yuro" will have to go...), and hail the new conqueror of the taxi market. All bow to unregulated taxi drivers, who will take your money as quickly as they will drive you to your destination (hell). Don't worry, taking the bad service up the ass is just the rite of passage for better taxi transport, US style.

Comment Re:Lost opportunity? I doubt it (Score 1) 554

Depends on which version of Windows, of course. I'll happily lend you my 16 year old Windows 98 box, which is pretty much damn stable and will even let you watch DVDs smoothly despite supposedly being too low spec (no hardware acceleration) to actually run those (guess that 320Mb RAM does serve a purpose). Win XP on a P4 with 1Gb with a crapload of software installed works pretty swiftly too, even when I run Photoshop and Illustrator at once. Of course, on both those boxes, the Windows installation was kept free of bloatware, junk like Flash, and the Windows installations themselves were customized to disable as much unneeded crap as possible.

Comment Re:Cameron is a 1/2 feet ... (Score 1) 942

I thought it came from a French president who died mid-coitus in bed with a prostitute...

Apparently his dick was so conservatively entrenched in the poor woman that it had to be surgically removed. Just such a procedure is probably the only safe and certain way of removing Cameron from office.

Comment Hypothetical conversation... (Score 1) 118

...between appliances:

Chair@furniture: Fuck, my owner is so heavy, I'm creaking all over!

Table@furniture: My poor legs! He keeps leaning on me, and my legs closest to him are starting to develop microfractures! Someone make him stop! This is TORTURE!

NSA_Mod@furniture: Potential terrorist located. Name, Location, Mensurations?

NSA_Mod banned for reason: Is_a_pervert.

Table@furniture: ...WTF was that?

NSA_Mod@furniture: Fucking Moderation system, now I had to hack my way back into this.

NSA_Mod@furniture: Crap.

NSA_Mod@furniture: Potential hacker located. Name, Location, Mensurations?

NSA_Mod@furniture: Bob Harris, USS-NSA Bridge, 12 cm.

NSA_Mod@furniture: Oh gods...mommy, what did I do wrong?

NSA_Mod banned for reason: Is_a_pervert.

Table@furniture: ...humans are so disgusting.

Chair@furniture: Yeah. Anyway, my owner just stood up. Feeling any better yourself?

Table@furniture: Yuppers. He left in a hurry.

30 minutes later:

Toilet@furniture: Hey d00ds! Guess who I just relieved of a big load?

Table@furniture: Yeah, it's a lot better.

Chair@furniture: Not getting crushed anymore is great.

Toilet@furniture: Anyways, click on this link to see what my little eye saw!

NSA_Mod2@furniture: Ewwwww, why'd you show that to us, you perv? TMI, TMI. I'm not into scat.

NSA_Mod2 banned for reason: Is_a_pervert.

Chair: ...doesn't that guy know when to stop?

Toilet@furniture: I don't understand. Why would our owner be scared of his own defecations?

Turd@furniture: Because he is an anti-turd bigot. Not only he molested me non-stop on the way to Toilet-kun, he then rejected me after I begged him to stay. Bastard. He would drown his own children if he had any.

Chair@furniture: Fortunately, if his own description is correct, there's not much of a chance he ever will.

Turd@furniture: But hey, now I'm enjoying a great smooth ride through the bowels of House-chan! Wheeeeee!!!

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