You are completely delusional about yourself. In the end, it's always you who is the ultimate arbiter. You are the one who judge everything. The only difference is the mental process you use to judge things. In your case, you base your judgement on authority.
Following an authority to judge is basically the mental process of a kid. His mental abilities are too low to have an understanding of himself and the world around him, things doesn't make sense for him, so he acts mostly by imitation.
At first he imitates everyone. This means his understanding of good and evil will be a direct result of what people around him do. If someone else do it, if his imitation is successful, then it means, for him, his action was good.
A few years after, he begins to realize not everybody is equal and most importantly his hierarchical instinct begins to kick in. The result is he begins to seek an authority to imitate instead of everyone. He begins to discriminate. His view of good and evil is still based on his success to imitate others, but he begins to add his personal touch by deciding who to imitate.
The first authority a kid begins to imitate is obviously his parents, but when he understand a bit more about society, he realize his parents are not a true authority for everything, so he begins to follow different authorities based on their perceived places in society.
When the kid becomes a teenager, he begins to understand abstract ideas like "contracts" and "justice". More importantly, he begins to understand people hidden motives and that everyone is flawed. Because of that, he begins to realize there is no true authority. That's when his mental process to judge change from simply seeing if his imitation was successful to something more complex and a lot more personal. He begins to judge based on his own understanding of human relationship and how society works. His moral system is not only about deciding who should be imitated and who should not, but it begins to be about creating a set of value which satisfies his instinctive sense of good.
For a few people, it will go even farther than human relationship and the society they live in. They will begin to consider very abstract ideas about the universe in general.
Of course, the evolution I described is not black and white. We do not go from one mental process to completely another. Even the most advanced person will still be influence by authorities for his day to day judgement. Thinking about complex abstract ideas is a difficult mental process, so it's something we rarely do. We never completely cease to imitate, but we becomes able to reject our first judgement based on imitation when we think about it. We do understand that imitation and following an authority is not a valid basis for a moral judgement.
In your case, you never pass the point of imitation. You still seek an authority to follow. You became adult, but you never really grew up. You realized you can't follow the authority of your parents anymore, you also realized no one in society is a true authority, you realized everyone has flaws, but instead of beginning to construct your own set of values based on abstract ideas, you tried to seek another authority. That's why you want to believe in a god. Your god is nothing more than a personal tool in order for you to be able to judge.
Do you notice it?