Been there, done that (failed April Fool's Day Slashdot submission),

Evidence Suggests LHC Test Already Begun

TheRealHocusLocus (2319802) writes

A new way to make headphones and earbuds and everything else even more flaky and more non-repairable. I replaced the horse-hair wire of my daughter's headphones with double-ought wire. She doesn't use them anymore... but they still work!

Phase One:
The Great Pumpkin: drawing gift-lust away from Judeo-Christian holidays

Phase Two:
The Time of the Great Pumpkin: Robot Chicken payback

Phase Three:
Breaking of the Seals, ascension of the faithful.

FOXTROT ONE-NINER, we are on schedule. Release the whipping cream. Repeat, deploy the whipping cream.

You are to be commended for the only constructive criticism I've seen so far among a flurry of comments best translated as, "I dinna like it, can't tell you what I like but I'll know when I see it. Next!". Like a game of darts where you score by hitting the other players.

My submission Evidence Suggests LHC Test Already Begun did not make the front page lineup, maybe it was too subtle.

'42:MOL' has achieved cultural Trope status for many of us. If I am ever on an elevator with a 42nd floor button, I for one will never be able to resist tapping it and as the door opens, announce "Behold... the meaning of life!" in the company of complete strangers --- or even if alone --- for my own amusement. The power of tropes is such that one's invocation of them becomes a talisman to ward off boredom and introverted desperation. In the lonely desperate emotional wilderness of our time. To ward off the abyss, as its howling winds tear at the edges of our souls.

Presenting a trope with fanfare and flourish to a wide audience, as was done here, that is risky business. Part of the problem is that it was presented flat-out as-is without a twist. Among those in the know, the presence of a twist begs forgiveness for the heinous (gosh gee Wally) act of dishing up something that we already know. We shouldn't forget though that to those who have only recently read Douglas Adams' books for the first time, this Slashdot story would be perceived as a welcome (and hilarious!) allusion and affirmation. I envy those people, maybe I will order a lobotomy from Amazon so I can rediscover Hitchhiker's Guide again for the first time.

So let me raise a glass and propose a toast to whatever the fuck I just said. Or we could just all shut up and drink.

Suicide carried off many. Drink and the devil took care of the rest.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Sorry Bob, the devil is looking elsewhere to fill quota, and even good drink will be scarce during the Generational Purge due to a loss of the 'Just In Time' food supply chain. Modern cannibals will find scarcely a week's worth of cans on the grocery shelf and perhaps another few weeks in distribution centers, but this will serve only to swell the ranks of the migrant Cannibal Armies that will actually conduct the Purge.

The Cannibal Army is the ultimate (and last) achievement of any failed modern civilization. The only reason the history books are not chock full of 'em is that historians are delicious, and there has never been enough population to achieve the necessary critical mass, collapsed societies to this point have always left numbers few enough to live off the land, and retained enough know-how to do so. That is not true today.

Ask anyone on the street if they know how to solder a joint, sow seed, plant a cow or where delivery pizza comes from and they haven't a clue. But ask them if they could figure out how to eat someone and they will quickly nod assent. It is not only instinctive it is infused into the culture. The recurring theme of pursuit and car chases in popular movies expresses the primal knowledge necessary for cannibalism.

The cannibals will be ruthless, they will employ cleverness and the use of technology to scour the land. Your stationary survival enclaves will be the favorite feast of the first wave, where all the cherished ideals of small sustainable energy, and those who practice it, go into the cooking pot. Domestic cattle and other animals will be mere appetizers in this Moveable Feast, because cannibal armies have no patience to raise them. Disease from improper preparation will claim some, but the critical mass will persist until there is only one Cannibal Army left in California.

That last cannibal army, great in number, will then march on the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Plant to absorb and consume the small group of engineers and scientists who have gathered there to preserve the remaining fruits of civilization, and for hot showers. Cannibals are easily swayed by reason, you might say they are even attracted to it, because wherever reason exists there are yummy people to consume. And consume they will until the last corn-fed game is exhausted. And then they will turn on each other and feast until human population levels out and reaches a sustainable level of -1.

The fate of California's energy policy is foretold in Lucifer's Hammer. Devour this book.

Frankly, I had to look up MOOC online too because it wasn't in my 1938 Webster or Corey Ford's Guide To Thimking [1961, Doubleday] , the computer reference I most often consult.

[...] some people started GOOgling it,
not knowing what it was,
and they'll continue GOOging it forever
just because This is the trend that never ends,
only the name does change my friend, [...]

It means eLearning or iBrainPodPeople or LearningMOO/MUD. It also means Learn-A-TRON or Learn-O-Matic. As you see on the oldest revisions of the Wiki, it was "founded on the theory of connectivism and an open pedagogy based on networked learning." From these huble 2011 origins it has gone on to have been founded on other things too. TIL In MOOC "every letter is negotiable," which means the shortest possible variant of it is "" the null set...

No biting satire intended, as one who never attended High School I welcome the advent of the online courses that can be realized for less than $100,000, whatever the cost. Along with Benny Hill I am learning all the time.

I offer Sendmail in its mid-1990s form as an example. We had several dialup customers with Microsoft Exchange servers. They'd connect and Exchange would issue an ETRN to dequeue waiting messages. The problem was that Sendmail by default, would send a "Warning: could not deliver mail for 4 hours" reply back to sender after the email had languished in the queue that long, and they dialed in sporadically and not at all on weekends so folks who emailed them would get these messages. It was bad. I wanted to disable this warning specifically for ETRN domains but not for everyone.

Does this feature exist? Sendmail documentation defined 'queuewarn' as a global setting but did not address this "deferred delivery by design" problem. Could there be a presently-undocumented or undiscovered workaround? Delving into the source it was visually apparent the answer was no, the warning was unconditional. The only workaround would have been to run a completely separate SMTP server on another IP address with the queuewarn off, and MX 'em to that. What a bother. Are domain-specific attributes available? Yes, these had a mailer flag of HOLD. Can it be addressed with a one-liner? Yes. So the _FFR_NODELAYDSN_ON_HOLD compile/config flag was born, off by default because we don't want to break things.

Just a couple of hours to discover, patch and test. another hour to render it into a contrib patch where it made its way into Sendmail. Open source is cool and when you see your own contribution being proposed as a solution to solve someone else's problem years later... that is quite satisfying.

Sendmail had the right balance of code-to-comment. What comments were there would not make sense until you understood the underlying process, and tag names were explicit enough that comments were seldom necessary.

[Cue music] It would not have been possible otherwise, to sufficiently emphasize the frightful toll of the new menace which is destroying the youth of America in alarmingly increasing numbers. Cell phones are that distraction -- and the Internet is the enabler -- an unspeakable scourge -- The Real Public Enemy Number One !

Its first effect is sudden violent, uncontrollable laughter, then come dangerous hallucinations -- space expands -- time slows down, almost stands still.... fixed ideas come next, conjuring up monstrous extravagances --- followed by emotional disturbances, the total inability to direct thoughts, the loss of all power to resist physical emotions leading finally to acts of shocking violence ... ending often in incurable insanity.

In picturing its soul-destroying effects no attempt was made to equivocate. The scenes and incidents, while fictionized for the purposes of this story, are based upon actual research into the results of cellphone and Internet addiction. If their stark reality will make you think, will make you aware that something must be done to wipe out this ghastly menace, then the picture will not have failed in its purpose.

Because the dread technology may be reaching forth next for your son or daughter ...or yours ... or YOURS!

~~Cellphone Madness

Amen. Surely more of a 'State of Emergency' than some sorry-ass hurricane. Oh yeah, and see about finding a President who'd veto this kind of shit, maybe roll back some of those perpetual declared emergencies too. Oops, that was Ron Paul. Better luck next time.

We should also give thought to those presently employed in these industries to ensure there is a safety net of retraining and placement. With a basic course in Constitutional Law and Civics. Those who do not score well might take advantage of the porous national borders, seek their fortunes in El Salvador or Mexico.
___
Things have got to change, But first, you gotta get mad!
  NSA and the Desolation of Smaug
  I am Sam. Uncle Sam I am.
  I really hated Men In Black
  Am I the first to suggest... BLACKMAIL??
  Sherlock Holmes: training wheels for NSA surveillance
  Stick a fork in the Republic, it's done. HR4681/309 [failed submission]
  The backbone, then [1980s] and now
  Whatever happened to the 'old' NSA? Directive 18?
  Last Wish (aka The Pact)

The pendant in me says, just leave it dangling.

Yeah. Never forget. Remind others. Explain to the young.

Things have got to change, But first, you gotta get mad!
NSA and the Desolation of Smaug
I am Sam. Uncle Sam I am.
I really hated Men In Black
Am I the first to suggest... BLACKMAIL??
Sherlock Holmes: training wheels for NSA surveillance
Stick a fork in the Republic, it's done. HR4681/309 [failed submission]
The backbone, then [1980s] and now
Whatever happened to the 'old' NSA? Directive 18?
The Day Israel Attacked the NSA [failed submission]
Last Wish (aka The Pact)

Also don't shoot video from upper balconies, GoPro headbands while skateboarding 'Ollies' in the air, while hanging from chandeliers, cliffs, standing on the transparent tourist platform atop the Eiffel Tower, from tethered balloons, while being shot from a cannon, while head-butting a ram, riding glass elevators, or suspended from suspenderences such as but not limited to rope or chain, or if you are tall, or if the subject is short.

These distinct camera angles strongly suggest drone use to busy compliance officers, who have been judicially empowered to employ the same 'presumption of use', 'intent to distribute' arguments that have made the War On Drugs the successful endeavor it is today. If your content is flagged, you will be pressed to supply proof that a drone was not present, and unmarked drones may appear next to your your house and photographs taken. Drawing on the 'admissibility loophole' that has made the partnership between Intelligence agencies and Law Enforcement the successful endeavor it is today, where the fact of warrantless, illegal surveillance need not be disclosed, these photos may be presented to Judge and Jury without comment or disclosure of origin.

To avoid unnecessary legal hassle, do not even post footage of model environments such as Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Even obvious depth-of-field artifacts may be targeted by zealous prosecutors if they allege the use of drones in pan-tilt photography. Due to the perceived nature of building giant models and the fact that bugs were in it, the movie "Bugs' Life" is exempt. There is also a blanket exemption for drone footage of cats, or drones that ARE cats.

Fortunately for us... Google has announced they have developed an AI program that detects the use of drone footage with 99% accuracy.

Did I hear a-scuffle? Whose humor is so obtuse? Well sure... it's No-Plan Stan, Knight of the Status Quo! Good to see you in these parts. Kinda reminds me of a wild teenage party in progress with parents out of town, loud music, unidentified liquids and guests sliding down the bannisters, toilet paper rolled down the stairs. Owners' kids gathering the crystal and the nicknacks to hide in the basement, pets being fed hors d'oeuvres (Hot Wings) and throwing up on the carpet. People throwing up on the carpet. Bedroom, bathroom doors locked from inside. The piano is missing. Some kids are wearing funny hats in the hallway, giggling. One of them mentions Thorium Energy.

There is a loud banging on the door. In bursts No-Plan Stan, Knight of the Status Quo.
The music stops.
With hands on hips he bellows, "You should all be ashamed of yourselves!"
Everyone is silent for a moment, each thinking of something truly shameful.
"This is all too damned fucking expensive! And Thorium Energy will never happen!"
He slams the door in retreat.

Yes, it was expensive for me. Was it expensive for you too? Did you feel the economy move?

It really is time to reexamine the reasons why things are expensive. I mean get down and dirty, research directly to the ultimate source of the resource, and chart its costs along the way. When it comes to the price of lollygagging while we have some idea of a new and exciting source of energy, but lack the guuumph to take the next step tomorrow, what a price that is.

After No-Plan Stan left, everyone streamed into the front room.
Lipstick-smudged faces peered out from doors in the hallway, then couples emerged.
The piano was found, and put back into place. Fires were put out.
"What a bitch! You mean, it all comes down to money?"
"That's what he said."
"What could we possibly do to change the world then? Go to Wall Street?"
"My Dad works on Wall Street. He says it's fucked just like everything else, and he's too low on the pyramid."
"Your Dad is building a pyramid?"
"No, he's low on the pyramid. He's building a Bubble. It's hard to explain."
"Okay. What was that bit about Thor Eeum?"
"Um... maybe... my hat?"
The hat is passed around. It is a Burger King paper hat with a silver DVD in front.
The DVD is labelled 'Thorium Energy'.
"So what's 'Thorium Energy'? It's weird how that guy just popped in and left."
"I dunno, it was in a pile of mail someone sent Dad because he works on Wall Street."
"So what's on it?"
"Hell if I know. I just picked it out because it would look cool on my hat."
"So let's see it then."
Everyone gathered around the screen. Snacks emerged. Some put arms around shoulders.

The world changed.

Thorium Remix 2011 DVD 02:23:49

CONTENT:
[00:00] LFTR in 5 minutes; [06:05] dialogue on Energy sources & conservation; [08:29] Elizabeth May (Green Party of Canada) on why nuclear 'fails', response; [13:40] Kirk Sorensen's time at NASA, discovering molten salt research; [17:30] on Glenn Seaborg's discovery of Thorium's fissile properties in 1942; [20:05] What nuclear fission is, decay chains, half life; [26:45] neutron absorption, cross section, Xenon poisoning at Hanford; [30:06] isotopic enrichment, Thorium/u233 rejected for weapons; [32:45] Atoms for Peace, absorption propensity and performance of nuclear fuels, thermal & fast spectrum, Thorium/Plutonium debate; [36:28] Alvin Weinberg focuses on Thorium and liquid fuels, Oak Ridge Labs, Aircraft Reactor Experiment, the Molten Salt Reactor Experiment, Fluoride Salts; [44:40] two-fluid molten salt reactor; [48:18] light water reactors, Watts Bar, reactor safety and containment systems, issues with water, Fukushima Daiichi hydrogen explosions; [01:01:38] solid fuel & rod assemblies, Eugene Wigner & liquid fuels; [01:04:38] PWR efficiency, Weinberg's quest for near-100% utilization, AEC's choice to pursue Plutonium fast breeders; [01:06:46] Weinberg's concerns about LWR safety, Congressman Chet Hollifeld's inquiry, Weinberg leaves Oak Ridge, WASH-1222, Integral Fast Reactor, Traveling Wave; [01:11:26] Fusion is hard; [01:14:12] Thorium in a CANDU; [01:18:12] Colonel Paul Roege on military reactors, Robert Hargraves: prosperity is related to energy, Robert F. Kennedy on mercury from coal; [01:21:42] transuranics, LFTR active processing, electricity & isotope production from LFTR, Pu-238 and RTGs, Molybdenum-99 & Bismuth-213 in medicine; [01:27:48] cost to build LFTR; [01:30:26] proliferation concerns; [01:31:50] hysterical news coverage of radiation, LNT; [01:40:02] coal & natural gas radioactive emissions, Thorium & Uranium decay in the Earth, magnetosphere, Hargraves on CO2 emissions & ocean acidification & energy density, one-sided press coverage for 'renewables'; [01:50:07] various approaches to nuclear power, the 'reason why not' (LFTR), LWR business model; [01:54:40] China and LFTR, Sorensen's visit to Oak Ridge to obtain access to LFTR documents, the Chinese visit Oak Ridge; [01:58:01] Thorium and rare earths, China's domination of rare earths market, China's LFTR program; [02:06:39] transitioning energy sources, without plentiful energy we will revert to slavery, energy cheaper than from coal; [02:10:44] process heat applications, DESALINATION, synfuels, Brayton Cycle, managing transuranics, gas & oil working against nuclear, closing remarks and recap.

The Hydraulic Empire was touched upon by James Burke in Connections S01E01: The Trigger Effect. The water stuff begins about ~28 minutes in, but don't cheat yourself out of what comes before. I consider this single program to be the finest hour ever filmed for television. It inspired in my me as a boy a lifelong love of infrastructure and concern for our continued species-survival as modern humans.

Energy is the thread that runs through everything now. With an ocean and technology and applied energy... fresh water is possible, on any scale. It just depends how determined we are to extract it. Every major source of fresh water in North America is presently guarded by peoples who will fight to the death to preserve their own land and way of life. Even the tapping of 'unlimited' deep geological reservoirs of water is fraught with unintended consequences. The only way to really solve the problem is to bring into existence something completely new that changes the game. Whether we be enslaved by access to water, to energy or the parasitic economy and the tax man, the breaking of these bonds are turning points of history.

"Every time mankind has been able to access a new source of energy it has led to profound societal implications. Human beings had slaves for thousands of years, and when we learned how to make carbon our slave instead of other human beings, we started to learn how to be civilized people. Thorium has a million times the energy density of a carbon-hydrogen bond. What could that mean for human civilization? Once we've learned how to use it at this kind of efficiency, we will never run out. It is simply too common." ~Kirk Sorensen, Thorium Remix 2011