Son, that's no toy. If you had any idea how much thrust this thing... no, wait... um, If you had any idea how hard...no, that's not right...um, I'll get back to you when I can think of something to say that can't be responded to with "That's what she said."

It's not really old vs young. Most of those on older browsers are coming from foreign (non-USA) countries or are coming from corporate networks where they don't have control over what browser they are running.

But can you give me an example of jQuery creating a terrible mobile experience? In my experience, I haven't noticed any issues on mobile devices for websites using jQuery.

Yes, at least until IE 6, 7, 8, etc. are truly dead. Our browser stats show that enough people are still using non-evergreen browsers that we are required to still support them. As far as I can tell the higher ups won't let us drop them until they are down to 0 hits a month. Sigh.

There is surely a joke about "Not tonight dear, I have a headache" here somewhere.

How do you know what is right? 100 years ago people would have said that they were on the right side of history when they excluded gays. Now we look back and say that they were mistaken. But perhaps in 100 years our descendents will look back at us and say that we were mistaken to think that we were on the right side of history. We like to think that we are on the right side of history, just as our ancestors did. But we might be just as mistaken as they were. So claiming that we are on the right side of history seems disingenous at best.

But how would you know that? What if gay rights had never progressed? You would have most likely would have believe at this time that people's beliefs 100 years ago were right (since they match what you currently believe is right) and therefor they were on the right side of history. This smacks of confirmation bias.

So "right side" refers to ethics/morals. But what about the history part? By definition history is in the past. So how do you know that what you think in the present is moral will be considered moral by historians of the future? That is what I mean by wishful thinking. Someone who uses this phrases is basically saying "I think that this action is moral/ethical and I hope that future historians agree with me so that when the future history books are written they will show that I was on the right side of history." I just think that no logical person can use the phrase "the right side of history". Though most of the people who use this phrase are politicians who are pretty much the antithesis of logical.

"on the right side of history" This phrase has always confused me. Unless you are a prophet or time traveler, how do you know you are on the "right side" of history until a significant enough time has passed? And what does "right side" even mean? Is this about winners and losers? Was Stalin on the right side of history since he was a winner (in a manner of speaking) while Hitler was on the wrong side of history since he was a loser? Or is this some kind of moral/ethical rightness? But how do we know what will be moral/ethical at a point in the future that our time is considered to be history? 100 years ago I'm pretty sure the average person wouldn't have considered someone who supported gay rights to be on the right side of history. Again, until enough time has passed, how can you know that you are/were on the right side of history? It sounds like wishful thinking to me.

I think the real hypocrisy is that Tim isn't speaking out to the same degree about the discrimination in his own company/state. The widespread discrimination against women and minorities is well documented, but I guess as a white male those kinds of discrimination aren't worth talking about, even though he really could have a significant impact on these issues that go well beyond a speaking point. And he could help a lot more people. What percentage of the population of Indiana is gay, a few percentage points? What percentage of Silicon Valley is female or non-white? A whole lot more than a single digit percentage.

I sort of don't have any social media accounts either. I have a fake facebook account with 0 info that I use once a year or so when one of my kids wants me to look at something on their facebook accounts. I have a fake twitter account that I set up at a conference I was attending to enter a contest. When I won the contest the presenter sounded very confused since my entry for the contest was the only content on my twitter site. They were obviously confused as to how that could be ;-)

Wait, have you just discovered Slashdot? I can't remember a single April Fools day in the past 15 years when Slashdot hasn't done this. I've actually been looking forward to this for a few days. It's not as epic as the Ponies one, but still enjoyable IMHO.

You are a sad sad person if you don't think that is funny.

We're so sorry the jokes aren't highbrow enough for you. Perhaps next year a Pulitzer prize winner can be hired to increase their literary merit.

Thank you. April Fools Day would be much more enjoyable without the blowhards wining about how they don't find it amusing. We don't care about what you find, or don't find funny. Please go to your room for the rest of the day so the rest of us can enjoy it in peace.

The worst thing about April Fools Day is people complaining about it being April Fools Day and the gags not being funny.