"Are you trying to say that without a belif in some God, that it is not possible to understand what is good for a society, or an individual, or a collection of individuals?"
Did I say that? No. ALL I said was that atheism offers no basis for the choice, which is a completely different statement.
Your points about Sodom are interesting. Lot's attempt to offer his daughters instead of his guests reflects the high value that their culture put on hospitality, something which our society doesn't. In that context the offer does make sense. The rule about stoning non-virgin brides emphasises that the wayward women are being harlots. Given that the story of the incident would have been known, I suspect that their status would have been accepted as they wouldn't be doing so. However I admit I've never heard the point discussed before.
Lot's wife being turned into a pillar of salt is, of course, a demonstration of the need to OBEY GOD. This is not fashionable today; the churches talk endlessly about the love of God, but actually the bible gives us 'the FEAR of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom'. If we disobey God, we deserve to die ('the wages of sin is death'). Any fate short of that is pure grace - undeserved favour - by God. At some point we all die and then comes judgement; at that point the offer of grace has run out.