If you can, try meeting with your users face to face. The more you can facilitate communication, the better. Relaying through email or ticket posts can be a slow and arduous process. If you can instead spend a few minutes IM'ing them, or talking to them on the phone, you may be able to make more progress.
There are two sides to this communication process. There is your users educating you about their needs and requirements and the problems they are facing with your software, and there is you educating the users on how to make better recommendations and bug reports.
Also, most of the stuff in here is just a bunch of despair and people saying "fuck it" to communicating with those who are less technical. It's always going to be a problem, and it will always be an impossible challenge if you look at it with the same attitude.
Yeah, they don't do any of that.
So, basically.. If one was to rewrite this in a way that isn't an intentional mind fuck:
Corporations hire young people, but don't know how to nurture someone to be useful to the corp when they get older.
A better way of doing things would be to try to keep your good talent around and murder your not so talented talent. Then mentor them so they can continue to develop and be useful when they're older.
NOW WAS THAT SO COMPLICATED?
North-East-Goat-Fried-Farmer-Baked-Interesting-Babble-Manti?
Bit of a plug for some people I have met, but if you check out Duo Security, they have some neat stuff where you can avoid the whole adding a second password as two factor authentication. Instead, you're authenticating a login through your phone (can either be through their app, or a phone call from a nice robotic lady). They also offer methods similar to RSA's. I don't know off the top of my head if you can configure it to only allow certain types of two factor auth.
But that would require them to like.. UPDATE IT. That's expecting way too much.
For other SOHO network devices with proprietary firmware, I imagine it's much worse.
With your bare hands?!?