And,

4) People like me who lose their tools on purpose because my wife keeps asking me to help her hang blinds while I'm playing Far Cry 4.

"I can't find the drill bits, hon. We're gonna have to put this off until I settle Pagan Min's hash."

Hell I have Bernoulli disks that are still readable.

Nothing beats clay tablets.

The Babylonians can still pull up their post-close EOY General Journal from 2759 BC if they need it.

in at least 1 different state

Are you expecting an entire state to disappear? I mean, I've heard jokes about California falling into the ocean, but a requirement of having backups in two different states seems kind of extreme.

But I guess it could happen. That's why I always insist on keeping at least one backup in low Earth orbit and another on one of the moons of Jupiter. This way, if Galactus shows up and eats the Earth, I'll still be able to pull my post-close EOY General Journal from 1996. Or at least I will be if SpaceX can ever figure out this manned space flight thing.

There are a lot of people in developing countries without safe drinking water, access to medical care, adequate nutrition and many other serious problems.

I can drive you through some towns in Texas that are just like that.

I believe qbast is being sarcastic

What is your evidence that qbast is smart enough to know the meaning of "sarcasm"?

No one who uses the acronym "SJW" has yet demonstrated that level of intelligence.

I hope that at some point in my life I'm lucky enough to have done something that would qualify me as a social justice warrior.

SJW bot

Uh-oh, somebody's upset about ethics in game journalism.

Do you keep wanting to climb radio towers?

Yeah, and these honey badgers are starting to become a real pain in the ass.

Fundamentally, science is about factual observation and "logical" reasoning.

Not the way I do it.

But seriously, the fact that an attempt to hold video game journalists to an ethical standard...

Hey look, I got one!

Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. At 1:35 A.M. Eastern time it runs out of disk space and crashes horribly

And the developers promise a Day One patch and announce DLC.

Machines have a history of blowing up or falling apart, but not of becoming evil and maniacal murderers.

I don't know if you ever had to change the RAM in an older Dell computer, but one nearly bit my hand off.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm living in a computer simulation being run on a computer. And I'm starting to get the feeling that it's a poorly optimized console port from Ubisoft.

I blame ethics in game journalism. Because bitches, man....

How long will it be before "scientists" say exactly the opposite again?

I've lived long enough to see everything become unhealthy and then healthy and then unhealthy again. And it's always based "on science".

The fact is, everything will kill you. That's why I only eat bacon, chocolate ice cream and bourbon whiskey. I may start smoking again, just to be ahead of the curve.