Don't make up any excuses for being a lazy, misshapen tub o' lard. You're a fatso, you're ugly, you're malformed and you reek of stale sweat. Your obscenely distorted body is a gross heap of flaccid flesh, with infected sores festering between the flabs of sweaty, yellowish skin. When you're sitting, your weight threatens to break apart the reinforced chair that should support that pathetic monstruosity that is you, when you "walk", you trundle along on shortened, bent, stubby little legs that look like a Talidomide-generated nightmare. You're probably the inspiration for the DOOM 2 mancubus. Douse yourself on gasoline and set yourself on fire, now.