In answer to most of your questions, the division as I'm framing it is thus:
- If you have the option to not work (even if you do work), you are upper class.
- If you don't have the option to not work, but you have the option to not borrow (even if you do in fact borrow), you are middle class.
- If you don't have the option to not work, or even the option to not borrow, you are lower class.
And to be clear, I'm not just talking about borrowing money, but any kind of capital, including land, so anyone who is stuck renting their home (doesn't have the option to not rent) is lower class.
So how should one reasonably become a homeowner in a high cost of living area such as the Bay Area or New York, NY? Does the first step involve moving to some other city where your profession is practiced but which has a lower cost of living?
At present that appears to be the only option, but it doesn't sound like a reasonable option to me, and the necessity of it is a symptom of what I see as the root problem of capitalism, rent. Rent distorts the cost of real capital (and also the cost of labor) in multiple ways: it makes the capital in higher demand by those who can afford it outright, not for its intrinsic use-value but for the rents they can command by possession of it, and that increased demand increases the price and thus relative to if only people intending to use it for themselves were buying; and on the other hand, it gives a falsely "inexpensive" alternative to buying which is actually infinitely expensive in the long run, luring people who would otherwise have to buy into a trap that prevents them from becoming able to buy. In the absence of rent, say if it were just suddenly abolished entirely (which I don't advocate —I have plans for a more gradual, less painful transition), you would suddenly have a bunch of homeless people and a bunch of unoccupied homes; the unoccupied homes would then be of no value to their owners except as a useless asset to be sold off; but nobody else would want to buy those "useless" homes as "investment properties" anymore, since they can't be rented out, so the only people who would be in the market to buy them would be the people who actually want to live there themselves; most of the people who actually want to live there either already bought something there in the old market (and so aren't in the market to buy anymore), or couldn't afford to buy and so had to rent, i.e. the masses of now-homeless people; the only way the owners of those homes can get any value out of them is thus to sell them to the now-homeless former renters, which means selling them at prices and on terms (e.g. in installment payments) that those former renters could afford. And voila, suddenly it is affordable to buy housing in such places.
Of course, it might not work out quite so perfectly just like that, because not everybody who had been renting before would be able to afford even the new lower prices and easier terms of buying. But that's where the distortions of the labor market come in. Those people who couldn't afford it would be the people with the lowest-paying jobs, your waiters and store clerks and such, and if those people categorically cannot afford to live in that location, suddenly there is nobody available to wait tables or work registers, and demand for them goes up drastically. The people already living there can't take those jobs because they don't pay enough to live there and if they took them they wouldn't be able to live there anymore, leaving all those low-paying jobs still unoccupied, and the demand for them skyrocketing — in turn raising the price that will be offered for jobs in such high demand, until it reaches the level that those jobs actually pay enough for people to afford to live there.
With rent in existence, expensive places have a situation similar to a manorial lord and his servants, except spread out amongst more parties; the "servants" (the waiters and store clerks and such) are still subservient to their landlords and employers, it's just that those are different people instead of one person being both, and most of the "income" paid to these lower-rung workers merely passes through them immediately on its way from one lord (the employer) to another (the landlord). If rent went away, those "lords" would either have to make due without servants (in which case what's the point of being rich if you have to bus your own table), or else each end will have to sacrifice some of their wealth to pay those "servants" enough (and charge them little enough) that they can actually afford to live there. And even if the rich do take the "make due without servants" option, now they're having to do the work that they could previously pay others to do, and so don't have as much option to not-work anymore, and have dropped down to a more middle-class position; meanwhile all the people who can't live in those places have since spread out elsewhere to places they can afford to live, taking their business and the consequent economic activity with them, to the boon of those other places and the loss of the places they'd left.
Basically, either the expensive crowded places get cheaper, pay more, or disperse to a more widespread distribution of more middling costs and pay, or some combination thereof, all of which have the result of there being more middle-class people and fewer upper- and lower-class ones.
With the shift from allodial title to fee simple, even homeowners still pay rent on property that they're borrowing from the county. Some have to pay additional rent to a homeowners' association.
Yeah, and this really bothers me. I will never willingly live somewhere with HOA fees as that defeats the entire purpose of owning. I've begrudgingly accepted the fact that property taxes are pretty much inescapable, but where I live those are still paltry compared to the cost of rent.