I know autonomous cars will be "oh so safe". At the moment I'm just as worried about what these things will make people do to people.
[OPENING OVERATURE]
Your driver liability insurance policy has come up for review. We have been recently been acquired by AAAA, the quadruple-A company -- the "Autonomous AAA of the future" and what that means for you as a member is -- it has never been easier to upgrade to an a-car! Financing is available! [link] Due to increasing pressure in the political, legal and underwriters' arenas, we regret to inform you that the cost of your driver policy will be rising this quarter in order to begin collection of fees for the Federal National Driver Insurance Pool, and rising at a steady rate thereafter. It will continue to rise over time despite your [good to excellent] driving record. Now that the Autonomous Vehicle Safety Act is law, and blanket liability accident investigation procedures have been approved by Congress, the legal liability of autonomous vehicles is capped nationwide. While this grants the manufactures freedom from risk of direct criminal penalty and potentially unlimited civil liability, it places human drivers in a difficult position. Most a-car accidents will, of historical necessity rather than actual circumstances, be "no-fault". Since human drivers and any victims claiming injury from them are still obliged to use traditional law enforcement and legal means of redress -- and the cost of these continues to rise -- underwriters are pressuring insurance companies to drop human drivers altogether. We do not intend to do this, but we can no longer provide policies for extended periods. Your new maximum policy period is now [one month]. Thank you for insuring with AAAA.
[INTERMISSION]
Meanwhile...
Dear editor: DRIVERS cause accidents. A-CARS prevent them. That's what the billboard says -- and if Howard County Referendum passes this September manually operated cars will soon be a thing of the past here. What started as a discussion at a hearing after last year's tragic accident grew into a full heated debate, and to think it all started with the parents who provide their children with a-cars pinning the blame squarely on other peoples' children. But then, after co-opting the national campaign with its slick literature and canned answers for everything -- NOW the fault is with human drivers themselves. And then in an astounding feat of lunacy they claim that it's only fair to place the blame on everybody. Not just the drunk, the aged or infirm, the inexperienced, the distracted or the just plain stupid. But no one's stupid in their book, we're just behind the times is all. They are like the drum majorettes of some utopian humanist parade. I say, SAVE US from these rich hippies, their weird toys and their broken ideals. Now I know a lot of these people, even like some of 'em, but aside from this national 'sideline the humans' campaign they're pushed at us (and WHO is paying for those TV spots I wonder) let's not forget that this debate started around kids. Kids who need to learn to drive as surely as they need to learn to push a pen and spell their name. It's like swimming, who would discourage their own children from practice in swimming, to become expert swimmers, because water is dangerous?? Every kid will need to drive some day, or suffer harm or hardship by not knowing how. These a-car parents even forbid their kids from riding in cars being driven by folks they've grown up with, trusted for years. At the parent conferences we even sit on opposite sides of the table, we can barely be civilized even, because this crap has gotten so deep. Well I say they are making a big mistake and don't seem to get it. It's not just that everyone who cannot afford these a-toys will be walking or begging rises on a-buses or buses with 'professional drivers' (and where do 'professional drivers' come from? Elsewhere? This sure sounds like a caste system). Save your a-car pools and charity, we're not buying it. Truth is, I don't like the message this sends to the children. And come September if this abomination passes you can bet we and our kids will be making our way OUT of Howard County. By horse-drawn covered wagon or by foot, heads high, in search of America as it was, as it should be. Respectfully, a four-on-the-floor hoofer.
[INTERMISSION]
Meanwhile...
The Need4speed mod was first developed in Central America. A software firm had been hired by a wealthy client to develop the ultimate suite of functions for "emergency kidnap evasion". It took the design limits of the vehicle to the edge, implemented spin and bump tactics for armored cars and the 'bootleg turn', re-ordered the evasion pragma to sideline small object/animal/child avoidance. A complete new class of stratagem for high speed pursuit where pursuing vehicles are recognized and evasion condition escalates until autonomous pursuers are left behind as safety overrides activate, or pursuers with human drivers are evaded by a series of maneuvers that strain physics to the limit. For a fee, the company would also perform detailed surveys and spatial analysis along the actual routes, devising clever 'custom' moves which, they claimed, would even evade vehicles running the stock software. Though they maintain that the product they did provide was a best fit for their clients, employees of this firm have since scattered or have been extradited to other countries to face manslaughter charges. Reverse engineering revealed not just a casual intention to erode safety features -- but stratagems to draw pursuers and bystander traffic into deliberate collisions with objects and each other in spite of other vehicles' documented collision-avoidance logic -- in fact, it actively 'games' that logic to ensure that the destruction of other vehicles, achieve its desired result.
Though we sympathize with your family's loss, we regret to inform you that Need4speed mods were discovered installed in a family vehicle registered in your name, as well as two others involved in the accident. It appears that the deceased and others were performing a "rabbit run" to test their illegal modifications. Pursuant to Federal law you should expect a formal indictment under the Autonomous Vehicle Safety Act.
[FINAL INTERMISSION] BBC Connections Ep1: The Trigger Effect
See you in some sorry-ass future. I'll probably be walking.