You could conceivably say that of the 65 tested, "only" 15 did not have good enough OpenGL support. This...other...usage of the word "only"...I do not think it means what you appear to think it means...

I've dealt with a few of them over the last few years, it can be very entertaining.

The way to do it is to set up a virtual machine with a packet sniffer on it. If you use all the old tricks that you would have learned on the helpdesk, you can even keep them on the phone while you set it up.

Here's a few of the classics to get you started;

"Yes...Ok...right...ok...right..yes...<15 minutes later>...no, sorry, I'll never remember all this. The computers in the other room: If I go in there, would you show me how to do it?...."

"it's a terrible slow old thing, let me start it up <ten minutes later...talking about the grandkids, especially the oh-so-clever favourite who built the computer for you is an excellent way to pass the time> oh, looks like it's frozen, I'll just turn it off and start again..."

"Start button? Oh, he must mean the button on the front of the hard drive! OK...it's shutting down now...OK, it's off, now what?"<20 minutes, easy>

Once you've got it all set up, let them talk you through downloading and running the LogMeIn software on the virtual machine. don't make it too easy for them, now...Did you know the app that you download from LogMeIn is only good for five minutes? If you haven't got it running by then, you'll need to download a new one and try again! Hours of fun and excitement for you both! So, let them connect and then use the packet sniffer to identify the IP address their connection is coming from. Also, here's a fun tip - the local session takes priority over the remote session, so if you are moving the mouse, even just a little bit, they can't! Fun!

Once you've had your fun, and you have their IP address, you can let the authorities know, and their internet connection will become a very interesting place. Briefly.

The FEMA coffins are easy. Do you know how quickly a few hundred thousand dead bodies becomes a major, MAJOR health hazard?

No need to dream up any New World Order conspiracy theory, either. One large earthquake and tsunami will do just fine.

Or you could remind yourself that a volcano with the ability to wipe out half of Seattle with less than an hour's warning is considered one of the most dangerous volcanos in the world today.

Or, for an extra shit and/or giggle, consider the consequences if the 1918 flu strain were to happen again...How many coffins would you suddenly need to find then? Bit late to be placing 50,000 unit orders at that stage of the game...

Oh yes...yesss there is, precious...

http://www.virtualapple.org/epochdisk.html

Vain and silly little humans...You don't really understand the way this works, do you?

Psst: The not-so-secret Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries has been manipulating oil prices for a very long time now, from their triggering of the 1973 energy crisis by denying oil to supporters of Israel in the Yom Kippur War to...

> ...ensure[ing] a steady flow of oil that would support economic expansion. Part of the basis for this policy is the Saudi concern that expensive oil or oil of uncertain supply will drive developed nations to conserve and develop alternative fuels.

Mind-blowingly amazing - From where I live in Australia, at the right time of the year, the central bulge of the galaxy is more or less right overhead with the arms spreading out on either side from horizon to horizon. Dizzying sense of gazing across unfathomable distances, standing on the shores of the infinite? You better believe it...

I don't know...Knowing how to inflict explosive diarrhoea on oneself doesn't seem a terribly handy survival skill to me.

Ok, fine, I won't run Sony's crappy software on it. Easy!

Actually, just to keep this in focus here, it doesn't take a lot of genetic difference to cause this.

Fact: Lactose Intolerance.

Ooo, Ooo! - Fact:Broccoli haters!

I'm glad you put the Open in Open Debate in "quotation fingers", because that's the sort of "debate" she's not interested in but gets far too much of.

If she wanted to read people making shit up, hurling insults and doing their best to shit on anything says*, she'd go into politics.

* Not because there's anything wrong in what she's saying, but because she's right and this is the only kind of attack they can mount because everything she says is true. Actually, you get that in a lot of places, I guess, so just fill in your own blanks there.

Yes...Let's not forget the right of the pharmaceutical companies to force third-world nations to pay first-world licencing fees

And 500 bucks for a real RAID controller...

It's been syncing to disk constantly the whole time. That's what journaling filesystems do.

Just because you pull the plug doesn't mean all the power is gone immediately, either. Capacitors will all still be charged, and devices with a CMOS battery in them (think RAID controllers) can keep working long enough to finish any write operations they have in their caches.

Here's a nickel, kid. Go out and get yourself a real operating system.

I'll just leave this here... http://www.thenewspaperworks.com.au/go/news/vegemite-isnack2-0