Do you know what you call a mainstream feminist in 2013? An egalitarian. Those who choose to differentiate themselves by adopting the feminist monicker are either true believers of female-supremacy or ignorant of the core beliefs to which they're hitching their wagon. If you consider yourself a feminist, you're importing a great deal of positions and ideas which you might not be proud of when exposed to the light of day.
There's an undercurrent of hatred for men in most feminist theory. The current strain lusts after the idealized future when men will be exterminated; made exiguous through biological and genetic science as the human race becomes a species entirely composed of females.
If you want to get away from that implication of hatred, you have to drop the label of "feminist". There's no other choice. If you choose to use the feminist label, you're choosing to stand and be counted with those people who want all male babies to be castrated.