There is this song I would hear all the time when I was a little kid. My stepdad was a huge Frank Zappa fan, and he had a large collection of zappa on wax. He would play these records a lot, and tell me that some of these songs were frighteningly accurate social commentaries. When I was a little kid, I had no idea what he meant, nor did I really care. I just thought the quality of the music was pretty bad.
But every time I turn on MSNBC, CNN, or 24-hour news channel dujour, I remember his

I *like* the April 1st tradition around here. The only thing that spoils it is the people who insist on bitching in every frelling story about how unfunny it is. *sigh* You think I'd be accustomed to the jackass faction on /. by now.

Thanks Taco, I've been looking forward to /. April Fools all week!

Dear Dr. Fuck,

Clippy, the charming personal Microsoft Office assistant, told me I should kill Steve Jobs and then eat both my own legs. But all I want to do is type a letter. Should I follow its instructions?

Sincerely,
Generic Cubicle Slave
Akron, OH

Dear Generic Cubicle Slave,

Dear readers,

Thank you for your overwhelmingly positive response. This first question was so good, that Dr. Fuck and the other Dr. Fuck had a miscommunication, and they both answered it!

Nevertheless, both questions are very relevant to today's teens, so they are both printed in their entirety.

-Dr. Fuck
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Dear Sir:

Hello friends. YourMissionForToday here. My buddy peepoh and I have decided to start a new trolling series, entitled 'Ask Dr. Fuck.' It will appear in this journal (and of course across many Slashdot threads) every week. Here is the first, assembled approximately two weeks ago:
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Dear Dr. Fuck,