Sorry but it is tiresome, I constantly hear how much better fan movies are than Hollywood movies but they always have the same problems, lousy script and terrible acting. There have been a few exceptions but even Iron Sky had the problem of a brilliant concept that they didn't know what to do with and they had a substantial budget and lots of free labor. Also camp films are played straight not played for laughs. It's the ridiculous qualities that make them camp not over the top acting. Fan movies will only come into their own when people take them seriously enough to put the effort into making them professional. A few sneak through like Primer. All it really involved were a couple guys and a camera with generic locations. The story got too confusing but otherwise it was good. One of my favorite films in the last ten years was something called "The Man From Earth". It's on Netflix and highly recommended. The whole film involves a group of middle aged friends in a cabin talking. The actors were unknowns but the script was brilliant. Pure storytelling. It was the last thing Jerome Bixby ever wrote, one of my favorite writers. Can't write? Here's a thought, there's an ocean of classic novels and short stories that are public domain. Don't try to "fix" them just lift the dialogue directly and the story is all there. Most of the public domain works don't involve expensive production values like sets and special effects. Look at Lovecraft. He rarely shows anything in his stories they are often all sounds and mood and yet no one has tried to do a literal adaptation. There are hundreds of others he's just an example. I never understood people taking a brilliant story and trying to fix it. I saw one lately based on the Call of Cthulhu only they tried to do it as a silent film. The opening titles were excellent so I was excited. Sadly it was all in video and little was attempted to make it look silent. I fast forwarded to the end to see what they did for the big ending. Probably the best attempt in the movie. Big cheesy sets which weren't a problem but the goofy animation kind of stood out. It did get me thinking about doing a modern silent movie. Sadly it begs to be shot with an old hand crank camera. There are ways to mimic the degraded film look. I read something a while back of a guy who took some badly scratched up white leader and had it scanned and used it as an overlay which worked really well to get dust and scratches. Just find some one to scan a minute or two of damaged leader and just either comp it in After Effects or even try keying out the white in your editing software. A vignette mask is easy enough to make it's mimicing the speed changes and jumping, the oid stock had oddly sized sprocket holes making it unsteady. Just a thought but if you don't have money be inventive and creative and if you can't write borrow a classic. There are thousands of brilliant short stories and novels free for the taking just have the sense to leave them alone. If you can't write a script then it's unlikely you can improve a classic. One of my favorite film quotes is from Magnum Force, "A good man knows his limitations". There's nothing wrong with not being able to write but a good film makers knows his strengths and weaknesses. Even pros have used iPhones and Canon still cameras to shoot professional films so put the effort into learning how to do it right. Learn how to do "L" cuts in dialogue and to shoot coverage. Video is cheap. Actually shoot masters, twos and CUs. Always get a good take and a safety. Even a good take can have technical problems. Sound is the biggest thing that separates the men from the boys. Foley clips are like gold. I personally follow the rule that everything has a sound. Always add a room tone or ambient sound. If some one moves quickly add a sound for it. I'm not talking chop socky sounds I often take them down to where I can barely hear it then drop it one DB. Believe it or not even something that faint adds color to the sound. Creative is only half the battle you have to be able to master the technical if you want to make a professional film. Film school is a waste of time, watch lots of old films and there are good books. Watch Citizen Kane a dozen times in a row. Brilliant deep focus shots and some low camera angles where they had to cut holes in the set. Just look at the style of the film and you'll get hundreds of ideas. He was the composition master of his day. Look at everything I just said and what of this can't apply to no budget movies? Can't aford foley clips then do your own. The best cricket track I ever had I did myself. Foley recording can be half the fun of the film. I once set up a box with a towel inside to dampen the sound and did things like eggs cracking and sticks breaking. Like I say be creative and have fun. I'm not trying to be harsh I just say if you are going to spend a year or two on a movie then make it the best you can. If you are shooting weekends then spend the week planning every shot. Do stick man storyboards and do rehearsals and walk throughs. If your actors can't act then avoid dialogue like the plague. Long dialogue scenes just show off your shortcomings. Learn to make your weaknesses strengths. Jaws is the best example of that I've ever seen. The shark sucked so you rarely saw it until the end and the end was the worst of it! The film was better when it was an unseen threat. I just saw a film called Hypothermia. The beginning was really promising. It was above average for a low budget and I was hopeful. Then they showed the monster. It was a dude that looked like he was in an S&M rubber suit with a cheesy fish head on top and spandex wings under his arms and he was always running towards the camera. It was the worst monster in the history of film. They had a great little film until the showed the monster. The stuff where you saw flashes of fins in the water worked it was just when you saw the full monty monster that you howl with laughter. Better to have never shown it. Like I say a good man knows his limitations and they can be made to work for you.
