"Dear Apple investors ... I have utterly failed to engage the same data market you would expect from a tech company of Apple's size in this field. We have managed to fumble around with iCloud or whatever but we failed. Yes, we failed and that makes everyone else so, so very bad. You would think this was just blatant hypocrisy, but it is very different from that. It is different because we are applying different standards in different cases. In Amazon's case, they are not angry about it like I am. So it's a different case. And look! As a bonus, we are not sorry at all. So you have every reason to trust us and continue to invest in our brand."
-Tim