So I had a great visit with my parents, went to Pittsburgh and found a fantastic apartment (top floor of a house; lots of windows, attic space, balcony, right in the heart of Pittsburgh's Little Italy, bus route right outside my front door... perfect) and fell in love.
The apartment is so cool. It's everything I was looking for, but didn't think I'd be able to find all in one package. I will be in a place with a real nightlife again, a place with delis and where they know the meaning of that hallowed word, "bagel." I will be a place with rivers and boats and mountains and parks; a place with clubs and skyscrapers and a variety ethnic neighborhoods with stores that are not chains. I will be in a classroom; I will be teaching; I will be learning; I will be in the fresh air; I will be travelling-- perhaps to China next summer, and if not China, Peru.
I can't believe that four weeks from now I won't be sitting at my desk; I won't have my flatscreen glowing in front of me and my phone ringing, people asking me questions about perl and my gumby mug in hand. Moreso, however, I can't believe that I've spent three consecutive years coming to work in the morning, sitting in my little windowless office, pounding at my keyboard and wondering what the weather's like. I'm looking forward to a life in which I travel a lot; learn constantly; meet new people-- one in which it would be impossible for me to go through a whole day not talking to someone, not seeing the sun. Days are so short here in the winter, there were times I came to work in this concrete block before it was light and left as the sun was setting.
Never again.
The old friend who was coming to visit-- he came, and he's moving to Pittsburgh in October, and I will see him when I drive through Massachusettes (for that ten-year reunion) in two weeks, and I can't believe things fell together for us like this, finally after all these years.
When we were in high school, he once walked miles through a blizzard just to stop by my house and say hello. When I was travelling in the middle east, he sent me letters. When he was bored in Physics class, he wrote me notes. When he felt like things were falling apart, he came to talk to me. When I felt like my world was falling down, I cried to him. When I was deciding which college to go to, I talked it through with him.
When my parents wanted to choose my major for me, he told me to be strong; when I fell in love, I spilled my confusion to him; when we started feeling like the place we'd grown up wasn't home any more, we reminisced; when he graduated and was looking for a job we felt confused and too young together; when I graduated and found a job I was excited about, he congratulated me and cheered me on.
When his long-term, live-in girlfriend didn't seem to want what he wanted, he talked to me; when I find new music that is interesting and exciting, he's the first person I think to share it with. We've talked about everything under the sun one could think to talk about, but I don't think we're in danger of running out of things to say.
We had adolescent crushes together, went to a prom together, talked about the ins and outs of our lives together, went through phases and grew out of them together, and have been the closest of friends for something approaching ten years. We haven't lived in the same city for nearly eight of those. Hours of time on the phone during those eight years account for a tremendous closeness, but who knew what kind of chemistry could spark between us when the opportunity arose, and we knew there was a possibility of a future together for us? If he moves to Pittsburgh (and it looks like he will be moving to a job there in October) ...how incredible. Someone who I know so well, who knows me so well; someone in so many ways different from me and yet with whom I share so much... we have so much fun together, and I think we are each at our most relaxed and truly ourselves when we're together, alone. And of course, I trust him more than I once though I would ever be able to trust anyone. He knows me through and through.
To live somewhere where he can be my friend in person, now that would be incredible. To know that we will be living in the same city and might have more than that friendship-- that this is something we're both excited about exploring, that we are both excited by this discovered chemistry-- that there are possible futures that look so good...
It's only too bad he's a Flash junkie.