twoears - Slashdot User

Comment Whitman announces stunning strategy shift at HP (Score 1) 277

by twoears on Thursday September 22, 2011 @01:17PM (#37481916) Attached to: Sources Say Meg Whitman To Become HP CEO

In related news, HP's soon to be not yet CEO Meg Whitman announced a plan to spin off every line of business in HP's portfolio but calculators. "We see a tremendous opportunity in handheld calculating devices," Whitman stated, in a not actually quite yet a CEO interview with selected members of an online calculator forum. "The value of physical buttons cannot be over-emphasized. Take that, iPhone!"

In separate interview, almost pre-announced HP CEO Meg Whitman announced a patent suite against Google, Oracle, Microsoft, Facebook and IBM. Two patents are at issue. The first describes a "method and apparatus for summing two numbers." The second concerns "A cookbook recipe for making calculator keys feel nice and clicky without necessarily indicating a successful registering of the keystroke."

The announcement was coupled with a new video depicting Google CEO Eric Schmidt as a bizarrely garbed wolf among a flock of hapless calculator toting sheep.

(credit to Howard Owen)

Comment Page should know (Score 4, Funny) 83

by twoears on Thursday September 08, 2011 @08:22PM (#37347048) Attached to: Judge Wants Ellison, Page To Settle Differences

Page should know you don't negotiate with terrorists. Ellison is a software terrorist.

Comment Has anybody else noticed (Score 1) 245

by twoears on Monday September 05, 2011 @06:45PM (#37311320) Attached to: Porn-Industry Outsiders Fear 'Shakedown' In<nobr> <wbr></nobr>.XXX TLD

that the XXX URL suffix is typed with one hand?

Comment Headline above is wrong (Score 1) 514

by twoears on Thursday August 18, 2011 @06:22PM (#37135736) Attached to: HP Spinning Off WebOS and Exiting Hardware Business

The WSJ article, among other news stories, makes it clear that HP is spinning off the PC division, i.e. selling it, not shutting it. Conversely, they aren't spinning off the WebOS/Palm division, they're killing it.

Comment Surprising and disappointing (Score 1) 369

by twoears on Thursday August 18, 2011 @06:14PM (#37135670) Attached to: Apple Patents Cutting 3.5mm Jack in Half

Not only do they want to give you lower fidelity, they want to force manufacturers to build their products with such inferior plugs, in which no doubt Apple will be heavily invested and for which they will charge exorbitant licensing fees to plug makers.

Maybe it's time to patent the half-cylindrical shape.

Comment Like I said (Score 1) 314

by twoears on Thursday August 04, 2011 @11:42AM (#36986420) Attached to: Oracle's Java Policies Are Destroying the Community

Larry Ellison is becoming more of a software terrorist every day.

Comment This just goes to show (Score 1) 380

by twoears on Sunday July 31, 2011 @05:12PM (#36941302) Attached to: Study Compares IQ With Browser Choice

that the choice of Internet Explorer is a no brainer.

Comment Insert coin (Score 1) 168

by twoears on Friday July 29, 2011 @09:19AM (#36920316) Attached to: Nintendo Slashes Profit Forecast and 3DS Price

It sounds like Game Over for them.

Comment Oh noooo! (Score 1) 191

by twoears on Saturday July 09, 2011 @03:28PM (#36706650) Attached to: Sony Announces End For MiniDisc Walkman

Bring back the Elcaset!

Comment Re:It could be moot (Score 1) 153

by twoears on Sunday June 19, 2011 @05:32PM (#36493384) Attached to: FTC Approves Microsoft's Takeover of Skype

That's all fine and dandy, but I'm referring to GV calls using phone numbers. Perhaps GV and GT will merge in the future?

Comment It could be moot (Score 1) 153

by twoears on Sunday June 19, 2011 @11:08AM (#36491102) Attached to: FTC Approves Microsoft's Takeover of Skype

If and when Google adds webcam (phonecam) to Google Voice as more and more smart phones have front facing cameras, Skype could be rendered irrelevant.

Comment Will we see Hogan's Heroes reruns in 3D? (Score 1) 69

by twoears on Friday April 01, 2011 @02:05PM (#35689794) Attached to: Toshiba Develops 3-D Monocle

Where's Colonel Klink when you need him? I can hear General Burkhalter yelling, "Kleeenk!!!"

Comment Is this anything like (Score 1) 137

by twoears on Tuesday March 29, 2011 @11:07PM (#35662286) Attached to: BP Loses Laptop With Oil-Spill Claimants' Personal Info

"my dog ate my homework" or the iPhone 4 left in the Silicon Valley bar by the Apple employee?

Comment HP isn't new to watches (Score 1) 84

by twoears on Friday March 04, 2011 @12:28PM (#35380430) Attached to: HP Announces a Watch That Unifies WebOS Devices

But I'd rather have an HP 01. In a class by itself.

Comment Who modded parent Insightful? It's FUNNY! (Score 1) 325

by twoears on Tuesday March 01, 2011 @01:27PM (#35348774) Attached to: Open Source Guy Takes the Hardest Job At Microsoft

WIMP - lmao!

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