Comment Re: They always told me I was so smart... (Score 1) 243
I was told that I was smart. I felt like I was smart. My grades, my ability to answer questions while mostly asleep, and the fact that everyone always asked me when they couldn't do things all proved I was smart. Everyone told me I was destined for great things, and I believed it.
Unfortunately, since it took so long for me to encounter something that required me to actually work, I didn't learn to do that until far too late. I had plenty of time to run around being a smart little asshole, and later on, plenty of time to learn that everyone hated me for it, and only tolerated me for oracular ability to remember shit that was going to be on the test. Once I realized I actually wasn't going to amount to anything, on account of being too depressed to care about doing so, I also had plenty of time to reflect on how I was failing everyone who believed in my potential.
The mistake isn't telling them they're smart. It's convincing them that being smart is an important gift, and that it will bring them success and respect. You only get those things by learning things that aren't taught in school, and people should be able to feel like they're worth something without them anyway.
Unfortunately, since it took so long for me to encounter something that required me to actually work, I didn't learn to do that until far too late. I had plenty of time to run around being a smart little asshole, and later on, plenty of time to learn that everyone hated me for it, and only tolerated me for oracular ability to remember shit that was going to be on the test. Once I realized I actually wasn't going to amount to anything, on account of being too depressed to care about doing so, I also had plenty of time to reflect on how I was failing everyone who believed in my potential.
The mistake isn't telling them they're smart. It's convincing them that being smart is an important gift, and that it will bring them success and respect. You only get those things by learning things that aren't taught in school, and people should be able to feel like they're worth something without them anyway.