Why don't we just get the govt (state and feds) OUT of the marriage business?
Marriage is a religious thing.
Well, no, marriage has been about property rights and inheritance for a lot longer than it has been religious.
And IMHO, why should someone get a tax break if they are married or in some type of civil union?
Because along with the benefits of marriage come the responsibilities of marriage. You are agreeing to support the other person for, ideally, the rest of your lives. You are easing the burden on society and society rewards that by giving you a tax break.
By the way, the tax break for being married really only occurs when one person makes a decent amount of money and the other person earns very little. In that case, you are (basically) taxed as if you each made the average which generally puts you into a lower tax bracket. If you both make the same amount of money, or both make a lot of money (even if disparate) then their is no benefit and sometimes a increase in taxes (due to deduction limits) over begin single.
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JimFive