Journal Journal: Nobots: The whole book is now online! 3
So why did I move the release date up? Readers! Or rather, a reader. A fellow commented "Damn you! I went to see what your book was about and before I knew it I'm on chapter 7 and feel the urge to finish it tonight (otherwise I wont sleep). I've had plans for tonight..."
I'd just gotten my first check for books that had been sold the day before, but comments like that are even better than the check. I mean, I didn't write it to make money, I wrote it to be enjoyed. I walked around with a smile on my face all day and thought "gee, I need to let that poor fellow finish the book." So now you can!
If you're using FireFox to read it, PDF isn't the version to choose since FireFox sucks at rendering PDFs. It is, however, faithful to the printed version. Actually it was used to produce the printed version, and there may be some words in the HTML versions that should be italicized but aren't, I've found and fixed one or two but I'm sure I've missed some. Also, the PDF and printed versions are Gentium Book Basic while the HTML versions are Times New Roman. There is one passage that is Aral and renders funky in the HTML, and later in the book there's a Venusian nursery rhyme that is Comic Sans Serif in the printed and PDF versions.
I haven't posted the e-book version yet because I'm not satisfied with it.
If you select single file HTML (which you can download, of course) the screen will change only slightly, with links to PDF and e-book missing. Links to chapters are internal links.
I hope you folks enjoy it, that's why I wrote it.
Journal Journal: Nobots Chapter Thirty One
"Let's go back fifteen years and play some Quake!"
I groaned. "Fifteen years ago this month? NO! Hell, no, dammit Rority. That was a hell of a time. I'd been hosted for two months and lost half my visitors in the move, then my host got hacked and the place kept crashing and just disappeared in a black hole..."
"Oh, sorry," he said. "My bad; GamePlex was a mistake Gumal and I had to fix. But you recovered!"
"Yeah, after being kidnapped and tortured. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. No, I'm not going!"
"Your So You Want To Be a Webmaster, too article is gone, but we had nothing to do with that."
"Where did it go?"
"The Vogons destroyed Planet Quake to make way for a new interplanetary bypass. Let's go!"
"No!!!"
"We're going, and that's that."
Desatio frags 100
Spew #100 came out last night, a live show with people there. Hear Desiato sing for the last time!
He posts news of his and Yello's new "Arcadia" project- with a live link.
Of the occasion, Sgt. Hulka said, "Holy giant butt zits Batman!"
In other web nooze, Evil Avatar redesigned the Weakly Web - again. It has an "Illinois weather" theme; if you don't like it, wait a few minutes and it will change. 2/16/1999
Games can't escape GameSpy's BFG
Version 2.08 is out- and I can't get it yet; all the ftp servers are full. When I finally do snag the sucker, you can get it here, where the server is never full.
The GamePlex problem still isn't solved, so until I can access the Get Quake page again I'll have the new GameSpy on the main page... at least, when this REGISTERED USER actually gets a copy!
UPDATE: It's downloaded, and is uploading as I type. Get the new GameSpy here. 2/17/1999
Yello frags Kneel
In addition to Grannies, Yello admitted today to kidnapping Kneel Katalystic, and says he may release him. He has also kidnapped YOUR T-shirt, and demands that a ransom of (I think) $25 U.S. for delivery of your shirt be sent to:
Gimme Back my Yello shirt!
26 Claverham Park
Claverham
N.Somerset
BS49 4LR
UK
Yello plans to buy out Planet Quake with the proceeds.
He also accurately misquotes PQ's "So you wanna be a web guy, huh??? Well think again loser boy!!" article (twice), has some quack 3 screen shots you don't want to miss, and has a GIANT interview. 2/17/1999
Fragfest should have used a smaller gun
*sigh* I still can't log on; sounds like Flamethrower's troubles with Planet Quake last November. Again, I apologize; but I've at least mirrored the OldStuff page on FamVid's server so I could shorten this one.
There are new links on the Links page, and a new command on the Commands page, but you'll have to wait until I can access gameperplexed again for the update. 2/19/1999
Kneel frags Yello
In a stunning move, Kneel escaped from Yello's clutches, wrestled his weapon (a banana, I think) away, and kidnapped Yello. Yello had a backup weapon (a moldy dish rag), and each is keeping the other at bay, argueing about who is kidnapping who (or is that "whom"? Whom cares, anyway?)
At any rate, the new Kat page may be back as soon as this weekend. Regular contributors are Yello, Kneel, Tron (3D Gamer's Edge), Morgan Parry (TenFour), Desiato (Spew), and Tom Cooney (I think "the Grin Reaper", but I'm not sure). I may contribute something once in a while if I can get my muse to stand still. Kat's new page is big and unfinished, and I have no idea how they're going to pull it off by this weekend. Maybe they'll use Yello's overcooked Puntyum 3 timewarp processor and force hundreds of alternate Ben Siskos to do the work.
The new page will have, among other stuff: Editorials, Articles, Interviews, Game Reviews, Girl Gamers, Top Ten, Audiocadia (real audio? dunno, the link led to "AOL, er, 404 file not found". I said it wasn't done), Mod Reviews, Cheat Codes (blood 2 was up), Files, free Advertising for us po' folk that can't afford Planet Quake, Links, Give-aways, Stumble Throughs, and a weekly column by the captive Yello, who Kneel now has trapped in a bottle. 2/19/1999
Nacho Extreme joins the game
Nacho Extreme died
Mail from Nacho- Nacho Extreme ain't gonna happen. Bummer too; it was a good page. He interviewed me, too. 2/18/1999 Update- Nacho Extreme will be here sooner or later; ok, later. Nacho is playing some game and helping to fix Gameplex. 2/19/1999
Hacker frags Gamesmania
I finally got ICQ working again, and boy, are there a lot of messages! This one was among them: "okay, logins work for sure now. they've been up constantly since i last reset ownership. one of the reasons they were down is because gamesmania got hacked. and i also have heard of other instances of attempted hacks into the gameplex network. so you guys watch your backs. take care." 2/20/1999
Kat frags you
Update to yesterday's post- The Grin Reaper's page is up, but not yet public. The Grin Reaper is a young Canadian named Brian Griffith who has "a bad habit of designing levels", so I guess when the Kat page is opened to the public, his link will be in the "mods, levels, etc" part.
They're making great headway on the Kat page, they may just get it done after all! 2/20/1999
UPDATE: It's finished! I hope they get all those Ben Siskos back to whatever weird dimensions they came from. I also hope he has a use for the ten million copies of Shakespeare's Hamlet all those monkeys wrote.
See the new Kat page here 2/20/1999 (later)
Fragfest Disconnected
I got access to Gameplex today, but don't know for how long. There are a few new links, and if you want to witness the Borg assimilating Quake, check out the Humor page (give the
Flamethrower joins the game
Flamethrower, in danger of starting another "ticket to nowhere" contest, updated today, saying "There simply hasn't been ANYTHING that I could give a rats chuff about going on." He also says, "MIDWAY vs GT" - "If anyone (ANYONE) at Midway or GT would PLEASE write in about the spat I'd LOVE to hear from you. SHIT, if *anyone* has *any* rumors or interesting news, please let me [Flamethrower] know!!!"
He also has a cool new link button. 2/20/1999
PQ Frags Webmasters
Last week, Planet Quake published "So you want to be a webmaster", an editorial discussed widely over the net. I wrote a rebuttal, and rather than post it, I sent it to Planet Quake, who posted it here. 2/20/1999
Illinois State Government frags Y2K problem
It seems the State of Illinois has reached Y2K compliance. This email reached my desk this morning:
"Y2K Date Change Project Status
"Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
"Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December
"As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
"I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do later this year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction." 2/24/1999
Steve frags Arcadia
When I got home from work last night, a rather large blanket was thrown over my head and I found myself in a large burlap bag, bouncing around as if in a truck. I could hear a pair of giggling, cackling old women, but couldn't make out what they were saying. I feared the bag was on fire, as I smelled something similar to burning burlap, only sweeter. Eventually the jostling stopped, the bag was removed, and there was a blinding light in my eyes. An obviously fake German accent (actually it sounded like a Brit impersonating a Spanard) spoke. I feared it was Todd Porter looking for Flamethrower. "Nya ha ha, we have you now, Meester Frogfast.......... There is no escape............. you WEEEELL tell us what you know..........."
I tried to tell the voice that I didn't know who Flamethrower really was, but was silenced. I hadn't expected the Spanish Inquisition.
"Nobody expects the SSSSSSpanish inquisitionnnnn................"
After being being shown the torture chamber with its devious devices, including a "soft pillow" and a "comfy chair", I relented. And tried to think up some convincing lies, since I didn't have a clue as to the truth.
It wasn't Porter after all, and he couldn't care less who Flamethrower really was. It was actually Kneel on a "recruiting" mission. Since I have a low tolerance for soft pillows and couldn't bear the thought of the comfy chair, I agreed to his "request". Especially since he was armed with a bowl of raspberries.
So now you'll see me in a weekly column titled "The Electric Gamer's Weak End Hell Hole" at Arcadia. The first edition of the column may be up by Thursdak (which would be about four days early). 2/24/1999
Asylum frags Old Man Murray
You might not have noticed this newish site buried in the links section. Maybe it would be more prominant in the Quake Asylum where it probably belongs (still too clean- cuss a little, Marvin).
Murray claims his site to be the "official game site of the US Postal Service" and says, "Think about it: gun toting maniacs navigating the same tired route over and over again picking up and dropping off items. Have I just described quake players or mailmen?"
Right now (but maybe not tomorrow, this is the internet) he has a comparison between John Romero and Oscar Romero.
BTW, Murray says, "How do you like us now that we're pretty much in charge of the post office, Blues? Ignore us now and you get no mail, baby. You and your little friend Redwood."
I know I'm scared! Uh, wait a minute, I have direct deposit and the bills and junk mail come by... HEY, MURRAY! Ya know what yer momma told me? 2/23/1999
Update: Murray says via email, "We're working to increase the amount of swearing." Since he also says he's working on a links page, he won't have to, since he'll have a button. 2/24/1999
'nother Update: That boy's fast. In his news section today, he not only used every cussword in existance, he even made up a new one! You will now find the old fart in the Quake Asylum, complete with straitjcket. And when he finishes his links page, he gets a front page button. 2/25/1999
Steve frags Webmasters
I want to again thank all you folks that sent mail about that "webmaster too" article on Planet Quake. It seems I have one more regular visitor, who appears to be replacing a dropout. The rest must be Fragfest regulars, as my visitor count is actually down a bit this week (except Sunday and Monday).
Of course, Planet Quake is being boycotted again by some of the regulars at Planet Crap.
Nice timing, guys.
At the last count, the boycott has made Planet Quake's 100,000 hits per day drop steeply to, oh, about 99,994 per day. Give or take half a dozen.
Meanwhile, the boycotters' pages counts have risen to an average of a phenominal 9.5 hits per week.
The boycott stems from Planet Quake's "stealing" a domain they paid for from a site they hosted. It does sound like they aren't being exactly nice to the guy, but wtf, I don't have a domain; why should he? Unless he can afford to blow the price of a Voodoo, in which case he would have had it before PQ hosted him anyway.
Some people can't stand to see anybody make a buck. Commie bastards. 2/25/1999
Steve can't escape Kneel's... comfy chair?
The (ouch) interrogation has been (ooh that hurts) completed, and I was allowed to go about my "business". Why anyone would want to read an interview with me is beyond my comprehension, but if you do, there's one over at Arcadia (or will be very soon).
Also, if you can't get enough of my drivel here, Kneel has posted the first of my weekly "Weak End Gamer's Hell Hole" columns (also at Arcadia), where I actually get to write about something besides Quake and Quake people, places, and things, and don't quite manage to. 2/26/1999
Saved games can't escape Id's shotgun
A reader has been gently chiding me to provide Quake 2 level cheats, and he's right; I should. Especially since I haven't found anywhere else that does, aside from the sketchy info in the manual. I just want you all to know I'm working on it, but I'm also working on making a living, raising my family, writing articles (see last week's Planet Quake article So you want to be a webmaster, too, and the new weekly column at Arcadia mentioned yesterday), scribbling out some art for Kat Media's Silicone Drive, and perfecting the "left hand mouse, right hand joystick" configuration so I can quit sucking at deathmatch (I've sucked ever since I tried the new config).
Apologies; please be patient with me! 2/27/1999
Gameplex died
!!!!! Also when I got home, I found Gameplex completely gone! And so was the page! Until I rebuild the structure over here, the internal links at the top of the page won't work.
I haven't got a single email from anyone at Gameplex, and everyone on my ICQ list connected with Gameplex is offline. 2/28/1999
Levelord Frags Flamethrower
Last week Levelord had a rash; actually, (to quote him completely out of context), he said in his Bitchslap page, "There seems to be a rash, yes, a rash"
He had a bit of a rant against... I couldn't tell who he was bitching about, except it wasn't Old Man Murray or BitchX, since he said, "I love Old Man Murray and Bitch X.". (Hear that, Murray? Your threat of withholding his mail worked!).
Who was it? Planet Crap? Planet Ho Slap? He refused to say.
Almost at the end, he says "The absolute depths, though, were reached by publicizing a company's internal email." O.k., He must be talking about Flamethrower.
I got home tonight from visiting relatives in Missouri, and saw that Flamethrower's column started, "Ooops. Looks like the trippy Levelord has..." and you'll have to surf over to his page to see the rest. 2/28/1999
Journal Journal: Every Picture Tells A Story, Don'nit? 7
Just not the true story...
https://venezuelanalysis.com/analysis/10360
This is also how they show you "Syria" and an "Arab Spring".
It was how "Neda" was created... in the "Green Revolution".
Journal Journal: WHAT GANG HAS KILLED MORE AMERICANS THAN DIED IN IRAQ? 2
Journal Journal: Nobots Chapter Thirty
I saw this article about some new robots they're designing, and it looks like they're taking steps to make nobots. These robots are "tiny", 8 x 4.5 inches. They're certainly not nobots yet, not even nano-robots. Not even micro-robots.
The scientists programmed the robots using rules based on the behavior of termite colonies. Acting without human-style intelligence or a central plan, termite swarms comprising millions of insects routinely build mounds up to 42 feet tall. The insects act individually, taking cues from their surroundings and from each other.
In a similar way, the robot swarm can build towers, castles and pyramids out of foam bricks. Acting autonomously, individual robots can even build themselves staircases to reach the higher levels of the structures, adding bricks wherever they are needed, according to the researchers, who also published details of their project in Science.
I saw later that alphadogg submitted it and samzepus accepted it. Excellent submission, IMO.
Meanwhile, I went back fifteen years to play a little Quake with Rority.
Hulka's Search Engine joined the game
For eight months, Quake players and gamers in general bemoaned the loss of Slipgate Central. Last November Quakeport opened and filled the void. Gestalt said there was something "better than Slipgate" in the works, and Hulka informed me (and I misquoted him) he had "something in the works, too".
Hulka's search page is now on line, although the Sarge says there are still a few kinks to it yet. Drop by Hulka's Boot Camp and add your gaming page! Quick, before the Planet sits on him. 2/9/1999
UPDATE: From the Bootcamp page today: "Hulka HQ Opens- [2/10/99] 1:25am Join the Hulka HQ database of cool ass gaming and entertainment sites here! Sure, we're not big yet, but we just opened shop and it's up to you to help build our database of all the cool ass sites you want to share with other members of Hulka's Army, so if you find one, add it NOW!" 2/10/1999
Windows trips on his own grenade
I've spent the entire day trying to get Windows fixed. The Gameplex problem has been resolved. Sorry for any trouble. 2/12/1999
Fragfest Disconnected
Oops, it's not resolved. My apologies to all of you.
Gameplex's net admin informs me he's got a bit of a mess over there; he has my sympathies. Meanwhile, any nooze I find will be at the famvid address for a while. 2/13/1999
Fragfest joins the game
I'll bet you thought I was going to use that ticket myself! Gameplex has been having some technical problems, so if you don't see an update, go to the old address at http://www2.famvid.com/mcgrew/quake/quake2.htm. Meanwhile, Desiato and Kneel are trying to wrestle the ticket away from me. Desiato is busy (according to his page) getting his ass kicked by his new job. Yello still denies responsibility for Kneel's disappearance, but has kidnaped yet another granny, Desiato's. When questioned, Desiato's bodyguard replied, "Look, mate, I'm responsible for guarding his body and I'm NOT responsible for yours." 2/15/1999
Back in the present...
Damn, but it's been a crappy winter. For everyone, it seems. This is the worst winter I remember seeing in my life. God, but it's been cold. And there has been snow on the ground, lots of it at times, since the beginning of December. Most of North America had a hellish winter.
Meanwhile, in Russia where they need winter for the Olympics, it's been spring all month.
England is drowning in the worst floods since before the US was a country. California is in their worst drought in decades, and surely hope Betteridge was right.
What's it like where it's summer now? I've almost forgotten what summer feels like!
Journal Journal: "Porn gives young people unrealistic and unhealthy ideas..." 5
Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea
of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
Journal Journal: Nobots Chapter Twenty Nine 2
"So," Rority said, "Want to go play that silly game?"
"Nah," I replied. "I'm burned out on Quake. Lets go somewhen else. Maybe back to when K5 still was a vibrant, living site rather than the zombie on life support it is now."
"OK," he said, "But Saturday we're playing Quake!"
How to get your story posted to kuro5hin
By mcgrew in Meta
Sat Feb 12, 2005 at 09:36:40 AM EST
Some people have whined that it's just too darned hard to get a story posted, particularly to the front page.
Well, your troubles are over. There is no need for "administrative action" to get your story posted. Indeed, K5's present membership base is far more lenient about what they allow to be published than some of the dearly departed K5 losers who have committed suicide.
Here are ten guidelines to getting enough votes to get your story posted to section, if not the front page. Well, at least to get my vote.
Some of these are guidelines, and some are hard and fast rules. With any creative endeavor, rules can be broken. However, before you break any of them, be sure you thoroughly understand the rules and their reason for existence.
1. Have something to say
Face it, we can't all be localroger. Some of us have been cursed with creativity, and the luckier of you can simply sit back and enjoy our madness. If you have nothing to say, then stop right there, unless you are a very, very good writer.
Do you have a hobby? An area of expertise? If you can make your hobby interesting to us, we'll vote it up. If you make it really, really interesting we'll vote it Front Page.
2. Have a three digit IQ
K5's readership has been traditionally more intelligent than most sites on the web, although there are, of course, exceptions. If you are among the lower 50 percentile mark in reasoning ability (i.e., I.Q.<100), then see guideline #3
3. Be funny
If you can make me laugh, you'll get my vote. And lots of other votes, too.
You don't have to be smart to be funny. In fact, considering the limited reasoning abilities of some clowns, intelligence seems to be a hindrance to humor.
Remember, boys, girls, and spambots, the one thing that makes us different than the other pathetic animals on this planet is our sense of humor. Except you spambots, of course.
4. Read something besides the internet and People Magazine.
I believe you'll find that the most published Kurobots are also the ones who have read the most books. Books - you know, those funny looking square things made out of dead trees. These are always edited, usually by editors who actually know the language.
It's hard to get a story posted when you're only semiliterate. The way to becoming more literate is to read more literature. And I'm not talking about crap on the internet, either.
The more you read, the better you'll write. The better you write the more people will vote for your dumb story.
5. Be controversial
Although I personally voted against this story, it is a good example of how to be controversial by being completely "over the top." If you get a lot of discussion while your story is in the edit que, you'll have some folks voting it up just to preserve the comments.
6. Know what you're talking about
Don't write an article about guitars unless you're a luthier or a guitarist. If you're the co-founder of Wikipedia you would be foolish to write a story about your goldfish. Unless, of course, your goldfish is funny or controversial. Or unless you have a story about how to keep your goldfish alive. Or unless you can write like Stephen King.
You're going to get flak from K5ers if you get posted, and most of this flak will be from people who think they understand, but really have no clue.
7. Don't just slop down the first thing that comes to mind
There are two possible bad consequences to sitting down, rattling off some ill-concieved piece of crap and submitting it. The first is that your story will be dumped unceremoniously in about thirty minutes time. Even worse, they might vote your bad story up, and you'll have to live with the damned thing.
You will find that some of K5's better contributors think about a story for weeks or months, then write.
8. Proofread! And never, ever send a story to vote without the edit queue
You will make typos, unless you're incredibly lucky or you're Isaac Asimov reincarnated. After you've written your article, read it! Ask yourself, if someone else had written it, would I enjoy it? If not, then it is certain to be dumped. Figure out what you don't like about your story and change it.
The edit queue is there for a very good reason. People will point out typos, misspellings, factual errors, non-erroneous facts they think are errors, plus of course they will add some trolling, flaming, bashing, and crapflooding. After all, this is K5.
9. Have a thick skin
Because, you know, you're going to get voted down. Because, well, YOU FAIL IT!
10. Have 80 nullo dup accounts
How do you think rmg gets posted FP?
Poll
Which rule did mcgrew shatter in this story?
o None of them 2%
o #1 1%
o #2 4%
o #3 8%
o #4 2%
o #5 7%
o #6 2%
o #7 1%
o #8 4%
o #9 0%
o #10 7%
o all of them 18%
o screw this, -1, resection to trash can 37%
Votes: 69
Journal Journal: Why I'm not joining the slashcott 14
It was a really nasty surprise when I opened slashdot and Beta hit me in the face. Apparently from the backlash, I was not alone. Every story was full of little but "fuck beta" comments. I added my own. There were one or two complaining about "anonymous posters" and the "fuck beta" protest, but most of the protesters were logged in.
The biggest mistake Dice made was releasing barely alpha-quality code to the public, as many have pointed out. The second big mistake was slapping us in the face with it. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was the announcement that the Slashdot Classic interface was going to be gone, and we'd be stuck with this butt-ugly unusable interface.
Meanwhile, someone opened a new site for slashdot beta refugees to flee to, "altslashdot.org". It lasted a few hours before getting slashdotted, it was nearly impossible to get in over the weekend. Yesterday that URL gave a 404; they changed the name to "soylent" something or other, I couldn't find the site last night. Probably just as well, over the weekend they seemed to be trying to handle slashdot sized traffic with a 386 and a 33.3 modem. None of the sites I've run have ever had that problem, but I didn't try to host them on a single desktop using DSL as these guys seem to be doing, I got hosts who had the infrastructure to handle a slashdotting. Guys, I'm paying fifteen bucks a year for my book site! Hosting is dirt cheap.
A boycott of slashdot started yesterday. I intended to join at first; when Classic is gone, slashdot is gone. I intended to only check my mesages this week, and post my normal Wednesday Nobots chapter with a subtle hint that web sites die when not properly cared for; Rority takes me back ten years to a then thriving community that is now a ghost town.
In the messages was an offtopic comment from soulskill, in response to an offtopic comment of mine about Beta and Classic. "Classic isn't going away any time soon." It's pretty obvious to me that they not only hear us, they're in panic mode. They realize their blunder. The protest has been effective. There is no longer any need for a boycott, we have been heard, loud and clear.
That was certain this morning when I opened slashdot at work. I was served Classic, without having to add ?&"nobeta=1" and there were no messages in the header about Beta. It's as if Beta was just a bad dream.
There is no need for a boycott, no more need for "fuck beta" posts. If they slide again, we can resume. But soulskill, at least, has given me hope that maybe, just maybe, Dice won't kill my beloved slashdot.
Journal Journal: -1 "Troll" - with NO "Troll" Mods! 6
Must be a new moderation algo...
30% Insightful
30% Overrated
20% Offtopic
Journal Journal: Nobots Chapter Twenty Eight
"So," I asked Rority, "who's going to win the superbowl?"
"Who's gonna what the what?"
"I thought you were an expert on us?"
"Yeah, before the wired centuries. You wired weirdos are weird."
"So, how far are we going?"
"Fifteen years."
"No! Drop me at home!"
"It's out of my way. Here we go..."
Kneel died
The Katalysmic Media page looks like this today: "WE HAVE GONE.... THIS SITE IS NO MORE.....BUT FEAR NOT.......WE SHALL RETURN SOON AT A NEW ADDRESS"
I hope he didn't move in with crash! 2/8/1999
Gameplex died
The Game Complex has been missing since last week. This ransom note was finally posted:
Please stand by as Gameplex undergoes reconstruction.
In the weeks to come, we will be able to offer the
latest from the gaming industry, accompanied by
exclusive previews and reviews.
Internet died
Gameplex is missing; Neil is mising; conspiracy theorists agree something foul is hatching.
Further investigation finds, however, they've just gotten lost in the gamespyder. 2/9/1999
Yello frags Neil
Yello, questioned about the disappearance of Neil Katalysmic, denied responsibility. Actually, it was his granny that did the denying, saying "Tsk tsk, that boy's totally irresponsible."
And regarding disappearances, Tikki was heard to say "Hey, what's with Gameplex, you heard anything?"
Harry Houdini was dug up for questioning and later released. Police are now looking for a gentleman named "David Copperfield". It is not known if Mr. Copperfield is a suspect in the disappearances. 2/9/1999
Blue Disconnected
"It is with sincere regret that I announce that the message boards... are no more... some of the few who were using it were using it as a forum for abuse..."
And here I've been wasting my time at Planet Crap, with "all the news that's fit to whine, bitch, and complain about." 2/10/1999
Internet Disconnected
The Game Complex, Kneel, Nacho Extreme, Spew's show 100, and clan sites that registered with gamespyder are all still missing. Yello, in possession of some sort of Timewarp substance, amulet, or device, claims he is not responsible. 2/10/1999
Journal Journal: "Yes, the planet got destroyed." 6
Journal Journal: Nobots Chapter Twenty Seven 2
Online now. I may release the whole book for free at the end of the month.
But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I want to know why Dice wants slashdot dead? That beta clusterfuck HAS to be engineered to drive people away.
So I'm on a friend's PC (Windows 7, IE 7) while he's making a beer run and I decide to visit slashdot. It comes up... that god damned beta. Shit. So I try the "nobeta=1". Doesn't work.
There's nowhere I can log in. So I post a comment AC offtopically bitching about the god damned beta bullshit and its problems, go to another tab, make an on-topic, insightful comment and "you must wait a little while". GOD DAM IT, SLASHDOT!!
So I read a couple more threads, go back to the "you must wait a little while" and try again to submit the comment. "This resource is no longer valid."
Did Dice have another web site that was competing badly with slashdot, so they bought slashdot to kill it? Because I can think of no other explanation for their recent behavior.
Can anybody point me to another site where one can discuss tech and science? Because slashdot is becoming unusable. When classic is gone, so am I.
Journal Journal: Nobots Chapter Twenty Six
That was one wild party on Zeta Reticuli. I don't remember very much of it, except the atmosphere there does something weird when you're stratodoobing.
We picked up Rula and Rority, and Rority stopped for beer in 1999, Rority saying something about an old woman who had something for him.
Real Audio frags Quake
The third Fragfest Quake Real Audio Show is finished, since I seem to have run out of drive space and had to uninstall a couple of games to get the
For those of you who feel bad because you're playing Quake instead of keeping abreast of current events (what? you mean there are current events OUTSIDE Quake???), don't miss Sgt. Hulka, cuz YOU BEEN DRAFTED. Now, gimme twenty. Then run this message from Col. Thirtytwo to General Protectionfault. Doubletime, dammit 2/2/1999
AOL does... a.......back............flip in..to......the...........
There's a fellow right here in Illinois that's having a hell of a time playing deathmatch. I've had quite a few emails back and forth trying to get him connected good. When he first wrote, he couldn't connect at all. He's on, but the lowest ping he can get is 380, and that's connecting through GameSpy. He's out in the sticks (Stonington, a little bitty town thirty miles from nowhere) so he may be stuck with AOL.
I've heard that AOL really sucks playing Quake. If you're on AOL, I'd appreciate a note letting me know of your experiences with that much maligned ISP. Is it as bad as I've heard? Does it suck for everybody? I'd especially like a note if you can get a decent ping with it. (1998)
A.O.L. frags Y.O.U.
I got an answer by email about the "does AOL suck for Quake" question, and the answer seems to be a resounding "yes". Lots of people saying it, but only one answer. 2/2/1999
Beach house can't escape Arsonist's Flamethrower
No, not Flamethrower, who updated today (and you'll be tripping on your own grenade if you don't see it now), A flamethrower.
Word has reached the Fragfest that an unidentified group of arsonists have hatched a plot to destroy Tikki God's Quake Beach house. The beach house, rumored vacant since November, houses a large store of cordite, TNT, plastique, dynamite, one or two small nuclear devices, and a shambler.
The authorities have suspected the Beach house of harboring fugitives, but word at the beach house is "Joost hasn't been here since September".
The mayor has been trying to have the house condemned since its appearance, but can't get the housing inspector past the BFG and shambler. When informed of the plot, the police whipped out a large urn of coffee and several hundred donuts and threw a party.
I dropped by to ask if the beach house was indeed going to be torched, and why.
[beach house] Who is it, man?
[Fragfest] It's Steve
[beach house] Steve's not here
[fragfest] No, I'm Steve
[beach house] Steve's not here either.
[Fragfest] Hey, Tikki, open up!
[beach house] Tikki's not here.
[Fragfest] Dammit, Nacho, open the fraggin' door!
[beach house] Shambler, get the door, man
so I think I'll drop by tomorrow and use the window instead. 2/4/1999
Gameplex sank like a rock
Hulka's does a back flip into the lava
Wow, the internet sucks. Hulka's and Spew, over at Hulka's Army, have been down for a couple of days. And "Gameplex is closed for reconstruction".
This really sucks. Desiato's coming up on show 100! 2/4/1999
Nacho can't escape Granny's Shotgun
I met a strange old woman as I was trying to get in to Tikki's beach house (see yesterday's post), a charming elderly British lady who informed me "Those feckers can really burn 'em down. Blimey, I wish me Neil would buy that bloody much!", and I have no idea who she was or what she was talking about. I assume she was selling ordinance, since she said something about how many shot guns Nacho took.
I didn't see the shot guns, Nacho must have had them in the gun rack already. The smell of lamp oil, candle wax, gunpowder, Incense, and something I couldn't put my finger on hung in the air. I opened a beer.
It seems the beach house isn't "scheduled" for "demolition" after all. Instead, it will be the 1999 Slipgate Central. On March 9th, a sign will be hung outside proclaiming "Haste does not bring success", and a fireworks display will be set off- inside the beach house. In the ordinance room. Thousands of Quake sites will have a "search for Quake" combo box that will lead to Tikki's "Haste does not bring success" sign.
Three trucks loaded with frankfurters and marshmallows are scheduled to arrive at the beach house by next month, as well as tankers carrying rum, tequila, and beer.
Tikki will be moving in to "Nacho Extreme (because all the other pages have extreme in the title)" as a reviewer. Nacho Extreme is the mystery page I referred to, housed in the penthouse of the Game Complex. It's still not done. Nacho says, "Ok, the site will be up eventually. But, being the lazy ass I am, 90% of my time is being taken up by this: If you want, let people know I'm lazy, but have a treat in store for them. Btw, I think tikki is gonna set the beach house on fire.
"Also, the game I'm playing is getting better. So, I won't be stopping till I finish. =)"
Volume 3 of the Fragfest Real Audio show has been finished since last weekend. I've kept from putting it up since (a) I mention Nacho's page which was supposed to be done last weekend and (b) Spew is supposed to have show l00 tonight. Desiato (whose bodyguard is heard in the Fragfest's show) said last week show 100 would be something special- and Hulka, his host, has been down all week. So we haven't seen show 99 yet, and 100 may be delayed. But I'm posting show 3 any way. As the old English lady would say, "feck it".
Planet's "spider" frags pages
Gestalt promised something "better than Slipgate", and it's up. It's Game Spyder. Right now there are 1600+ entries. 108 of them are Quake sites (compared to Quakeport's 800+ Quake sites). I searched for several of my favorite sites at GameSpyder, and could only find one (Planet Quake).
It is better than Slipgate, because Slipgate died last March.
It's nowhere near as good as Quakeport. All of my favorite sites are listed in Quakeport, not a single one (except Gamespyder's host) on gamespyder. Plus, when I tried it out, Gamespyder was gawdoffal slow at not finding any of my favorite sites. 2/5/1999
Yello frags grannys Yello There
I received this ransom note yesterday: "Yet another delightfully strange update.............
I'm keeping your granny..........
Neil........."
And on the subject of Yello grannies, Desiato says he doesn't have a bodyguard, and may have show 100 done by Monday. 2/6/1999
W4r3z3rz frag Steve
I keep getting email asking me to send full versions of games. I don't really know that these folks are looking for w2r3z, so I always assume they're not. At any rate, Quake 2's 400 megs would make internet w4r3zing impractical at best. Any way, you can get demos and patches from the Get Quake page. If you can't tear yourself away from the computer long enough to drive down and buy Quake 2, you can get a copy from Amazon.com. 2/7/1999
Journal Journal: EXCLUSIVE! 1
EXCLUSIVE: Obama's pot dealer beaten to death for farting in gay lover's face http://dailym.ai/1lmjJHa
