It's scientific-y speculation

It certainly rhymes with that.

Who cares how many? We know we're the best. Quality, not quantity, sweetie.

Long way down the road

I see what you did there, sweetie.

I dropped out of high school in 1983. I was being heavily harassed for being openly gay. I could take it no longer.

Ooooh. Couldn't take it, madam, I mean sir? Ooooh. Was it longer, sir? How about the width? Once you've had black there's no going back. So they say, sir. Ooooh!

Then I worked my ass off

Did you, sir? Ooh. Literally, sir? Was it sore, sir? Oooh. Suits you!

What's wrong with using the for free 911 service on any of the pay phones on every BART platform?

Have you seen them, sweetie? I mean, if the design was a little more clumbsy, they might have a certain, you know, ironic retro chic. But if someone saw me using on of those I'd literally die of embarrassment. Like wearing brown shoes with a black belt.

Plus, you simply don't know who might have touched them. Homeless people, linux users. Euwww, yucky yucky!

There are some jobs where size matters or a proper input matters

I'll second that, sweetie plumkin.

It'd be my pleasure.

Now bend down and open wide!