Read the GNAA press release from earlier tonight. We were provoked to these actions by the gratuitous and unexplained removal of our software project and its developers' users from Soureforge.

Today I found out that goatse.cx is to be taken down.

Later I came home, and decided to look at the FloodMT home page. I got wackily redirected. I tried to login to my Sourceforge account. I couldn't. FloodMT was now an "invalid project", and I was an invalid user. Sourceforge had assassinated the GNAA's software child.

Then I discovered that shitstorm has also been wiped from Sourceforge.

Luckily, the GNAA has kept copies of FloodMT and shitstorm. But surely these three horrific strikes may mean something.

...he feels the cold Lysol air on his thighs as down come the boxer shorts too, now, with the colorful bass lures and trout flies on them. He struggles to work himself farther into the toilet hole as dimly, up through the smelly water, comes the sound of a whole dark gang of awful Negroes come yelling happily into the white men's room, converging on poor wriggling Slothrop, jiving around the way they do singing `Slip the talcum to me, Malcolm!' And the voice that replies is who but that Red, the shoeshine boy who's slicked up Slothrop's black patents a dozen times down on his knees jes poppin' dat rag to beat the band...

-- Gravity's Rainbow, 1974

I guess Slashcode fails it.

On this blog entry. Took two hours. The site keeps giving 500 Internal Server Errors right now, but props to Chuck for being shockingly nice about the whole situation.

Slashdot, as you cannot have helped but notice, is once again going down the tubes of journalistic integrity. The editors have tossed away all pretenses of intelligence and competence.

Therefore, we must flush Slashdot away, and rebuild anew. We have to destroy Slashdot in order to save it. Thus, the trolling and blog crapflooding. From server to shining server the Web is filling with crap, masturbatory pseudointelligent shite and pictures of bloated infants.

First, we got CowboyNeal to turn off comments on his shitty Movable Type blog.

Now, we have made another jihad strike against the Slashdot oligarchy. Wil Wheaton's blog has been taken down by the GNAA. Using self-developed automated trolling solutions, we took over various discussion threads, posting in excess of 500 comments in minutes. Comment posting is no longer functional, and the front page states that the blog has been closed.

On a completely unrelated note, MonTemplar's latest blog entry has received an unprecedented 2,005 reponses.

Generally, when modbombing, you'll want to be a little less obvious than smacking all of my most recent posts to +0 with Overrateds, and four in a row of my previous posts to -1, Troll.

Idiot.

This is my comment in a discussion about consumer electronics. There I made the obviously false claim that the 555 timer was a low quality microchip. In fact, if anything, the opposite is true. I wrote, "just ask someone knowledgeable about the widely acknowledge low quality of the 555 timer chip". If you did, then they'd laugh in your face.

The mods didn't realise this, as per usual. Being the morons that they are, they didn't realise that I was trolling. Anyone who's so much as taken apart a toaster would have realised I was trolling.

The current score of the comment? +3, Informative.

However, I would like to congratulate one poster on his intelligence. This guy. He called bullshit, was upfront about it, and knows the score. He should have M1, not the retard who thinks I make sense.

Stolen from a K5 diary in case something happens to it.

-=-=-=-

The very model of a K5 personality (Meta)

By clover_kicker
Mon Jun 23rd, 2003 at 12:39:08 PM AST

With apologies to the author of this usenet post [http://groups.google.ca/groups?selm=36D0484C.548A6DEF%40qnet.com], I submit the following study on troll dynamics:

-=-=-=-=-

I am the very model of a K5 personality.
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
Usernames I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted too,
On all the countless stories that my drivel is crapflooded to.
Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
And you're the one who pays the bill, downloading all my drivelling.
My enemies are numerous, and no-one would be blaming you
For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.
The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limits of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only Mom could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;
If I survive to twenty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.
I always have the last word; so, with uttermost finality,
That's all from me, the model of a K5 personality.

You, michael, are an unsubtle, modbombing cunt. Everyone saw the way SlashdotCEO's comments have suddenly dipped from their previous +4/+5 scores to -1/0. You are ignorant, and a cock. Please die, and stop censoring us. We're trying to save Slashdot from itself.

If you read my previous journal entry, you may have picked up on the fact that I'd popped into #gnaa, intending to dig up dirt. But there wasn't really any dirt, so I just joined in the gay nigger festivities, pissing around on EFNet, pretending to be the FBI and saying we were going to carry out "midnight raids" for child porn possession. A few people fell for it. Most people just got pissed off. XBOX(TM)(R) users in particular were especially amusing in their reactions.

From #xbox-trade:

04:02:46 <Desimat0r> We have reason to believe your channel is distributing child pornography, which is in direct breach of US law 1,823.b. We therefore have no choice but to shut your channel down, and use your IP addresses to track you, in accordance with regulation 2,551a. If you have any questions, please write to your senator. See http://www.nero-online.org/lastmeasure?q=fbi for the laws and regulations in question. Thank you.
04:03:00 <wrt> ohh fuck
04:03:07 <NeoDragon> wtf
04:03:08 <BILLGAYES> shit!
04:03:09 <wrt> shit we're in the shit now
04:03:14 <BILLGAYES> we dont have no childporn
04:03:19 <BILLGAYES> this is a xbox trade
04:03:21 <GLazZ> hahah
04:03:23 <pecmoney> FUCK OFF HAHAHAHA
04:03:28 <NeoDragon> as if
04:03:38 <wrt> it doesn't matter whether you have it or not tho
04:03:41 <NeoDragon> you couldnt find porn on my channel even if you tried bitch
04:03:42 <wrt> we're still gonna get invetigated
04:03:43 <BILLGAYES> I LIVE IN CANADA COME GET ME
04:03:44 <wrt> JESUS FUCK
04:03:51 <NeoDragon> same here bitch
04:03:52 <NeoDragon> lol
04:03:54 <GLazZ> it's ok because the child porn has an xbe in it
04:04:01 <pecmoney> HAHAHA
04:04:23 <Desimat0r> We're gonna get a midnight raid lined up for you guys tomorrow
04:04:34 <Desimat0r> so we can see just how much kiddie porn you have
04:04:35 <Desimat0r> sickos
04:04:40 <pecmoney> good...maybe thell catch me with my pants down hahah
04:05:04 <-- NeoDragon has kicked Desimat0r from #xbox-trade (Child porn this bitch &#139;1
04:05:28 * BILLGAYES is scared their website looks pretty official
04:05:57 <NeoDragon> hes got no proof
04:06:14 <NeoDragon> and first and foremost...im sure he aint even a cop or whatever he thinks he is
 
04:11:01 <pecmoney> this is the FBI we have you surrounded put down your dilldo's and step away from the children........You to MICHEAL
 
04:18:10 <NeoDragon> if that idiot FBI bitch comes back just kick his ass
04:18:38 <JaggedIce> hahah that link is fucked up
04:18:40 <pecmoney> some guy claiming to be FBI
04:18:51 <pecmoney> but just wanted us to click on some nasty link
04:19:38 --> penisshit (~orlaef@200.91.234.50) has joined #xbox-trade
04:19:42 --- Desimat0r is now known as FBI_USR22
04:19:50 <TyphooN`> lol dude
04:19:52 <TyphooN`> who are these people
04:19:57 <penisshit> HEALP miy xboxes are giving aboirt retry fail errors
04:20:02 <pecmoney> kick fbi user out now
04:20:03 <TyphooN`> my xbox is gay ;D
04:20:06 <FBI_USR22> We're gonna get a midnight raid lined up for you guys tomorrow
04:20:06 <FBI_USR22> so we can see just how much kiddie porn you have
04:20:06 <FBI_USR22> sickos
04:20:09 <TyphooN`> it started humping me in the anus
04:20:28 <Nazty> fuck you fbi
04:20:30 <lysol> then I stuck a broom in my anus.
04:20:30 <penisshit> CAN SOMEONE HELP EXTRACT AN XBOX FROM MY ANUS?
04:20:30 <Flip`> ROFL
04:20:33 <TyphooN`> and then my anus started bleeding
04:20:43 <TyphooN`> i didnt know xbox's had penii
04:20:49 <penisshit> I MASTURBATED ON MY XBOX AND NOW IT WONT LOAD GAMES
04:20:52 <TyphooN`> LOL
04:20:55 <refstes2> omg kick him out!!!!
04:21:02 --- Nazty sets ban on !*@200.91.234.50
04:21:06 <-- Nazty has kicked penisshit from #xbox-trade (penisshit)
04:21:06 <lysol> I bought an xbox and then I realized I was a fag!
04:22:00 <BILLGAYES> I got my cock peirced then It got stuck in the wall socket, i got electrucuted and it blew the xbox that was plugged in too
04:22:15 <lysol> the hard pointy edges of the big X on my xbox are causing me discomfort when I use it to bludgeon myself for god
04:22:39 --- You have been kicked from #xbox-trade by Nazty (wrt)

Which basically brings me to now. The GNAA are making worthwhile contributions to Internet trolling, made possible by their swelling ranks. Join us!

So, yeah, I used to think that the GNAA were a bunch of wannabe flooders and repetitive morons. But looking at the Anti-Slashdot Jihad website I noticed some interesting posts in the forum made by GNAA members like penisbird that actually made sense and were quite insightful. The GNAA do seem to be a genuine and useful subset of the jihad, and as such I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my anti-GNAA hatred with my pro-Jihad beliefs and actions.

I think I'm going to have increase the standing of the GNAA in my opinion. I still don't like you, GNAA, but you may well be a necessary evil. As such, I'm going to make an effort to stop posting anti-GNAA propaganda.

You know what? I'm going to hang out in #gnaa to see what's up, and whether they're as bad as I suspect they are. Who knows, maybe they'll have some good ideas I can steal.

Yes, it's the new year. Now shut up about it.

Thanks.

I think we have a new candidate for a Goatse replacement.