One feature was "Track Progress & Create Goals"

The only goals my dog ever had were to follow me every time I went near the refrigerator, lick my face, and catch that Frisbee,

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You mean just because they are Muslim and own a Blackberry?

Mumble mumble, uncanny valley, mumble mumble.

I prefer a cupola. You can really get a good overall view from a cupola.

Don't worry, just bottle and market your farts as an arboreal air freshener.

"NASA has suggested that the exploration of space is like NASCAR only with rocket ships ..." ... which always turn left.

Because Benghazi! Benghzai! Benghazi! ... Oops! Nothing happened.

While at the very least, Hillary set up a private email server (and a not particularly secure one) against government protocol.

Hillary tried to "do it herself" when it was against protocol to do it any way but through government channels. Let's not forget that part.

Pointing out that Hillary's extra-legal email server was not secure, and that she made two contradictory statements about their existence and security, if true, can not be construed as either a slur, or as demonization.

I approve this message.

You could add them together and get 6Chan, multiply and get 8Chan, divide and either get 1/2Chan, or right back to 2Chan, Dealer's choice!

There are two types of barbarian. One kind marvels at innovations and honors any being which create them, while the other kind of barbarian is afraid innovations, and tries to destroy any being who can create them. Surely, someone from a truly advanced civilization would realize this, determine that our civilization contains both kinds, and steer a wary course around our rustic little planet.

Okay, but how long is your penis?

It is better far to follow research at the Broad Institute than to possess a narrow mind.

I liked when Trump explained that he donated to all the candidates to make them obliged to him, so when he needed a favor, they would jump when he said "frog."
I mean, everyone already knew it worked that way, but no uber rich nutter had ever came right out and described the process in such plain language before.